sex & death

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by zapbone, May 29, 2007.

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  1. zapbone

    zapbone Member

    I had a bi-sexual experience across from where I work. Somebody in an adjoining business saw this and told my bosses. They in turn gossiped about it with my co-workers. One of my colleagues told a girl that I was falling with in love with about it, and subsequently she doesn't want anything to do with me. I have suffered major depression my entire life. I am medicated. My plan is to say my goodbyes and end it on Sunday. It never gets better. People are self-righteous pricks. I'm in therapy talking about the incest. I'm sober a long time. I hurt.
  2. Pneuma

    Pneuma Guest

    That sounds like good old discrimination and/or sexual harrassment. I'm having trouble at work myself but my problems are of the racial variety. I was going to call lawyers around town, on Insignificant's advice. Lawyers won't charge for a second oppinion you know. At the very least you can find out what your rights are.

    Take care
  3. zapbone

    zapbone Member

    thanks for your kind words. the embarrassment & humiliation are unbearable.
  4. Pneuma

    Pneuma Guest

    Don't say your good-byes just yet. Is your job worth fighting for or would it be better for you to find something else?
  5. zapbone

    zapbone Member

    the girl i care for has been hurting terribly herself, and i feel like i've harmed her, too. i used to love my job, but can't even think of going back now. i'm on vacation, but it won't leave me alone these thoughts. i work in a mental health facility.:biggrin: go figure. the self-righteous pricks are healthcare providers. i also just witnessed a patient there be intentionally over medicated against her wishes, and lied to (not by one but by two psychiatrists, a psychiatric nurse & a priest!) it is all too much. i'll never trust mental health "professionals" again in my life. they are truly the sickest people i've ever worked with. i've contacted NAMI to try to get the abused patient some relief. she is now (after imprisonment, a stay on a forensic psych unit & numerous hospitalizations) court mandated to receive medication. if she refuses, into the state hospital! all because of the abuse of this psychiatric team. so not only am i the blowjob guy, but the whistleblower, to boot. the only thing that relieves the suicidal thoughts is the rage.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2007
  6. Pneuma

    Pneuma Guest


    I hate to say it but if your girl really cared for you she'd get past the little experiment you had. If she doesn't then at least she's showing her true, shallow colors. She might also just be in shock and needs time to adjust. She might eventually get over it. You could try giving her a little time, then talk to her about it and find out for certain how she feels.

    I worked in a hospital for three years, in medical records. It was my job to collect the charts of discharged inpatient and process the paper work. I had to deal with the joys of reading all about the medical malpractice in gresome detail being commited by the "professionals" I worked for. I couldn't take it anymore. I quit even though it was the best paying job I've ever had.

    I really think you should get some legal advice. Pretty, pretty please look into it.
  7. dumdumgurl

    dumdumgurl Well-Known Member

    i hurt for you too. my god i can't believe the sh*t people deal with and we're expected to smile and act like we don't see it. that's my worst fear that i'll be locked up or be giving shock treatments; might as well give me a gun then because i don't want to be shocked i've seen what it does to peple and it's not all it's cracked up to be.

    i'm soooooo sorry you've experienced all you have and tears are running down my cheeks wishing you would have had a better childhood environment. and as for you experimenting with bi sexuatlity... well dammit it's your own damn business and people need to get over it; has nothing to do with them.

    i pray your hurting stops, i really do.... and you did the right thing in trying to help an innocent girl. i've seen how cruel staff can be and how psychiatrists don't believe you. i told one exactly how the "family" would react and after the "play" he knew i wasn't lying and knew exactly what each character would play in the let's play the family game of who is who. sick fuckers really and i was told by my father one time it's not too late to stop this game when he was being forced to go to family counseling and then walked out and refused to go again. HE'S part of the problemand always has been. the abuse i suffered from age 4 playing mommy in a child's world sucked and i'm still pissing my pants when he raises his tone of voice; petrified absolutely petrified of him and i shouldn't be but i am. maybe because that's if i let him in, he takes TOTAL control and that is not my game... i'm me dammit!
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