It has been a while since I wrote on SF, and something happened today which really bothers me in so many ways, so, I figure I'd write about it here. I am so disgusted by what occured today and it is no surprise that it has been a year since I have had sex. When I had sex a year ago, I had mixed emotions about it. While I enjoyed it, I also felt disgusted by it. The person I was then with was fine, not her fault at all. I just wasn't comfortable and I felt like it wasn't right, yet, I did enjoy it, at least I thought I did, until I got depressed again, then I felt disgusted. I couldn't completely figure it out, until today, when I had sex with someone else. Another non-romantic sex session. Another disappointment. Another lingering moment of digust. I am a failure, because not only can I not maintain romantic relationships with people, I can't even properly enjoy sex. No one wants me and I suppose I ought to not want anyone else. The only people who have been with me, use me as a sex toy, and leave me without any sort of real emotional fulfillment. I probably don't even deserve it, let alone any sort of sexual pleasure, beyond that someone takes a small amount of their personal time to touch me. That is probably the only thing about it that I enjoyed, that someone even noticed me. How sad. I'm pathetic.