Sex is Awful!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Aquariamethystea, Oct 23, 2007.

  1. It has been a while since I wrote on SF, and something happened today which really bothers me in so many ways, so, I figure I'd write about it here. I am so disgusted by what occured today and it is no surprise that it has been a year since I have had sex. When I had sex a year ago, I had mixed emotions about it. While I enjoyed it, I also felt disgusted by it. The person I was then with was fine, not her fault at all. I just wasn't comfortable and I felt like it wasn't right, yet, I did enjoy it, at least I thought I did, until I got depressed again, then I felt disgusted. I couldn't completely figure it out, until today, when I had sex with someone else. Another non-romantic sex session. Another disappointment. Another lingering moment of digust. I am a failure, because not only can I not maintain romantic relationships with people, I can't even properly enjoy sex. No one wants me and I suppose I ought to not want anyone else. The only people who have been with me, use me as a sex toy, and leave me without any sort of real emotional fulfillment. I probably don't even deserve it, let alone any sort of sexual pleasure, beyond that someone takes a small amount of their personal time to touch me. That is probably the only thing about it that I enjoyed, that someone even noticed me. How sad. I'm pathetic.
     
  2. mb75

    mb75 Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: You are not pathetic and our not enjoying sex while in this mood is completely normal, some of us need to feel love or rather feel some sort of fulfillment ... I don't enjoy sex that much either , if at all, especially when it is just full of nothingness
     
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Don't have sex unless you are in love and you will find it much more fulfilling. It's not surprising that you don't enjoy it when love isn't involved. Nothing abnormal about that as far as I'm concerned.
     
  4. Swollen

    Swollen Active Member

    Sex is a very complicated thing and it shouldn't be thrown around so lightly as it is nowadays. People should be more thoughtful on their sexual partners (especially with the risk of STDs and STIs now). I think really you should be completely in love with your next sexual partner so that you won't feel so used, as it seems to sound. I agree that it is much more fulfilling when true, honest love is involved. It really sounds like you're using yourself more than these other people are using you. Maybe that doesn't make sense but maybe someday it will. You should respect yourself more than to have sex with anyone who you think would do you.
     
  5. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I agree.

    You shouldn't be having sex if you don't really love the person or if you're just doing it to feel 'special' or to please them or make her stay around.
    Get into a relationship, on all emotional levels first, and if the guy insists on sex too early then tell her to bugger off. Sex shouldn't be such a big deal. Just do it when you are ready.

    (im gonna get told off for this by someone..im sorry)
     
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Exactly. Wait until you are sure you are in love and want to spend the rest of your life with that person. Make sure they feel the same way. Then wait as long as you can after that. You will be much less likely to make a mistake this way,
     
  7. What happened to me was worse than I described, but still, I feel like I should have been different about things in hoping that I wouldnt feel so bad afterwards and maybe it would have turned into love somehow, I don't know. I'm so confused about my life. I know I want love, but I keep trying for it in the wrong ways. I'm a failure.
     
  8. I was used like a toy, not treated like a person. I'm feeling much worse about this and I am really worried.
     
  9. I'm so messed up right now. I'm sorry.
     
  10. elliebelle

    elliebelle Active Member

    I think part of it is being emotionally comfortable with yourself. If you're not comfortable that way it feels wrong and tarnishes your opinion of it. I think it can change but being comfortable with yourself and the person you're with makes you comfortable with the situation.
     
  11. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    hun I know where you coming to on your views, I had a boy friends and he did actual what you say. But hun my point is there nothing wrong with sex as along as you love and care for the person and the person feels the same with you. Give me a call hun i havn't talk to you in awhile :hug:
     
  12. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I agree. I think you have to be comfortable with yourself before commiting to someone in the sexual term. I agree that you should love and care for person before having sex.
     
  13. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Well, lots of us grew up being told that sex is dirty, disgusting and wrong. While it might be an effective way to keep kids from playing doctor, unfortunately, it tends to stick and then we grow up and wonder why we feel uncomfortable and disgusted with ourselves when we do what should be a perfectly normal, natural and enjoyable act.
     
  14. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    30+ Years ago, people used to attach a very negative stigma to sex. Now a days, it's not so bad. Though, sex with a strong emotion attachment (feeling loved, and loving that person) Will pretty much clear your mind, and give you a sense of satisfaction, because sex is more of an expression, the lack of an emotion to express leaves the act itself, what you said. Disgusting, because you find yourself doing something that your body might want to, however your heart may not.
     
  15. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    You can have sex with anyone you choose to, as long as its mutual. The reality is alot of people out there have sex with people only cuz they want to use them from there own pleasures, whether this is right or wrong, depends on your views. From the sounds of things, you would enjoy it alot better if there was an emotional and spiritual connection between you and your partner. In other words, sex would be great for you if you was in a romantic relationship.
     
  16. I suppose ultimately I'm disappointed in sex because I haven't met the ideal woman for me yet. Still, sex just seems so different than what I imagine it being. It's not comfortable and nice for me. It feels so "organized" - like, and not fun.
     
  17. devoidofhope

    devoidofhope Member

    Well, then don't have sex. It's that fucking simple.
     
  18. rwillson

    rwillson Well-Known Member

    there is nothing to be ashamed of in the way you feel about sex, personally i feel the same way, sex just doesn't feel right. i remember when i was in college the pressure that came with my peers and i played along but all the while disliking it as well as myself. if i ever mention to people how i feel they often think i am nuts, especially when they look back at all the girls i dated. weither it was sorority girls who always wanted to hook up at parties. the handful of models i dated when i myself modeled, even the girls who used to frequent the night clubs i bartended and bounced at, it always felt wrong. it didn't matter if it was a fling or a serious relationship it just didn't feel right. all those feelings you talked of i felt equally...

    it did feel right once and we would be married now if she had not passed away. after she passed away my dislike of sex only cemented itself further, it was probably one of the reasons my last relationship ended. i was never really into one night stands, as they always messed with my head and jumping in to fast while dating someone i have found is just as big a mistake. as i said it felt right once, and we waited, we took our time, and we knew we were both in love before we even came to having sex. so you are not alone...

    r...
     
  19. A problem might be that I am so seperated from society and popular social activities, that sex in this world seems more like the thing to do in this world, rather than the thing that I really want to do in this world. I want sex though, but I don't want to feel like the person who is having sex with me is doing it for any other reason than that they want me/love me. I think that sex would be best for me in my own world, with a really beautiful woman, since I have no faith in this world.
     
  20. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    I wish people would stop thinking about and stressing over sex or lack of it...