Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Ed., Jul 5, 2009.

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  1. Ed.

    Ed. Well-Known Member

    My sex drive has gone. Vanished.
    I've been like this for just over a year now, I dunno what the hell is wrong with me.
    I have a girlfriend, who I'm so lucky to be with, and well lets just say she wants to do things guys my age only dream about... But I'm just not excited about it.
    I don't even feel horny anymore, I never used to be like this.
    Sometimes I see sex as a chore, a task I have to do.
    I'm not confused about my sexuality, I'm 100% heterosexual.
    I don't have a disorder like erectile dysfunction or anything, everything works (that i am aware of).
    I've had a lot of sex since I've felt like this, though sometimes it wasn't exactly natural, I've used a viagra alternative sometimes, just so I could get it over and done with I guess (sounds a bit crude I know, I wasn't like a robot, was nice, sensual, and we both enjoy it)
    It's just I feel... dead...
    I rarely get genuinely excited about anything these days, not just about sex.
    But it's really getting me down, not being interested in sex.
    I think my head wants it, but my soul isn't interested, or perhaps it is the other way round.
    I really don't know what to do, I've only written about it here, kind of a last minute thing, as I know she wants me tonight, but I just want to sit around feeling sorry for myself.
    What do I do?
    Anybody else felt like this? male/female/straight/gay/bi it doesn't matter, please let me know.
    Thanks - Jack.
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Yes I feel this way.

    Just as I'm figuring out who I am sexually, too.
  3. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    dont cum for a while then ull feel better
  4. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I feel the same way. I blame my meds.
  5. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't worry too much about it yet, if you do, you might put some additional pressure on yourself. I manage to get action several times a week and not always with the same person, I have very little sex drive, I just feel as if I have to to preserve my masculinity. In reality I wouldn't be bothered if I didn't have sex for a year or so. Whatever you do, do pressure yourself too much, it'll come good sooner or later.
  6. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    I back Graham's argument. Furthermore I think that you might want to explore if there are greater issues at work here, such as perhaps you being depressed or something. Do you have a history of any depressive disorders?
  7. bright1

    bright1 Well-Known Member

    Dunno if this will help, but I was reading recently that the reason that a lot of men lose interest in sex is because it IS too much of a chore. The pressure to perform well and satisfy their partner is sometimes more than they can take. They're terrified of not doing well, of coming too soon, etc.

    According to this article, the key is to stop being goal oriented. Agree before you have sex that you're just going to try to make yourself and your partner feel good, and if an orgasm doesn't result, that's fine. Just be together.

    Like I would know, LOL. I haven't had sex in 3 1/2 years. But I'll tell you this: What I miss is being touched and held and kissed, not the orgasm.
  8. Ed.

    Ed. Well-Known Member

    Hmm how do you feel?
    I guess you could experiment, thought I imagine you already have :p hope you figure yourself out.
    I know I'm totally straight, sweaty men... not nice...

    Heh it doesn't work like that mate :(

    Hmm yes I used to be a bit of a man-slag, perhaps to preserve my masculinity also, I didnt really think about it. Sex isnt a rare thing for me, im lucky enough to be pretty attractive and i know i could easily just "get laid". Just don't desire to.. =\

    I've been depressed for most of my life, I've never seen anyone about it, so I don't have any medical records of it, but I've been miserable for so many years, not many people realise, and I don't talk about it. I hurt myself sometimes, but I'm trying to stop that, been along time since I have (my girlfriend has helped) =\

    Thanks :)
    Yeah I have a strong feeling that this has something to do with it, but I still don't know why I lack the desire, perhaps I just need to relax more, or get physically fitter, so I have more energy, I dunno, that seems too hard right now, tho I am incredibly miserable as I type this. =\
    (btw I know what you mean, I went along time without any contact, I used to miss holding somebody)
    I hate the way I always turn to drugs for every problem in life, should really get out of that habit.

    Anyway, i had sex last night, but it was a bit "meh" it wasn't bad, it wasn't boring, but it really did feel as thought I was doing it for the sake of doing it. Which sounds harsh, but I can't really lie about it.
    I've not talked to my girlfriend about it of course, haha I would die before I did that, but thats just who I am.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 6, 2009
  9. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    I have felt like that in the past.
    And my girlfriend did for awhile (up until a few weeks ago) too, and she's not even depressed (anymore).
    So, there is hope it will pass. How long has it been going on for?
    Hope all goes well :)
  10. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    I agree. Just the feeling of a warm loing embrace or hug, is what I miss the most.
  11. Rachel123

    Rachel123 Well-Known Member

    I too am experiencing a loss of interest in sex. It's weird... I'm a total nympho and something I'll be my regular self for a couple of days where my boyfriend and I fuck the bunnies...then I won't even want his arm around me for a month or longer... Annoying... Sometimes I'm horny and I WANT to be with him.......but then he touches me and I'm just like UGH.. I love him...and I'm straight!! so I don't know !!
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