Sexual abuse and rape

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Lucy0, Jun 26, 2016.

  1. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    I was sexually abused and raped. For a rape I went to court for a long time and it was very traumatic. I have a hard time dealing with it. It's destroyed life in many ways. I had a lot of backlash, stalking, threatening, etc. A lot of the time the process bothers me more than the trauma itself. Can anyone relate? I feel alone.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I can relate lucy, i too was molested and raped, have you sought counselling or any other form of professional assistance and guidance?
     
  3. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    Yeah I have. But it's the all the court stuff that's messed me up that no one seems to get. Like you just get so used to living in the hell of uncertainty and anxiety never knowing the next time you're called into court or the police station. And I can't stand cops and attorneys. They treated me so terribly. The hospital did too! I feel like people are just so cruel.
     
  4. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    I can't relate, but I feel bad for what you went through. So many of these people turn out to be repeat offenders, I commend you for having the bravery to confront this perpetrator. As for how you were treated, that just strikes me as strange and disgusting, that you would be mistreated by the people supposedly doing justice, or the people at the hospital who treated you.
     
  5. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    Thank you. Yeah the justice system views you as an accuser not a victim. Since they are innocent until proven guilty the perps have all the rights. Everyone views it as the victim "ruining the guys life" or "lying" or "it's her fault anyway". Same with the hospital. At least with some hospitals anyway. I had to go to two. The nurse at the second one was nicer. The first one just accused me of lying. The courts want you to just drop it since they never get prosecuted anyway. Testifying is the worst because you get cross examined for ever. And then of course you never get justice and it lasts for at least a year so it's like what's the point?
     
  6. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    It's unbelievable that a nurse would accuse you of lying! How dare she? After what you've been through, maybe this nurse isn't suited to be a nurse, they're suppose to make you comfortable, they're not supposed to judge you.

    And with the courts and cross-examination they ask you to relive of the trauma! the effect it has on your psyche, issues going forward with trust and attainment of happiness. The point of you pursuing justice is your piece of mind and the security of other people. If you feel this man is a danger to you or to someone else you have a duty to put them in a place where they can't harm anybody. If the guy walks because along the way you gave up, are you going to feel comfortable knowing he's still out there? Do you believe he will do it again? When you go to court, you are potentially saving other women from abuse. Regardless of your choice, do what you feel is right, for yourself and for others.
     
  7. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    It's already over I already went through the whole case. And yeah he will do it again just like they all do.
     
  8. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    It took me forever to even get them to file any charges in the first place. No one else that's ever hurt me even had a charge against them because it's so hard to get the police to file anything.

    Also when I was at CYS last semester this girl was being raped by her stepdad. She was 8, and after the 3 hour long forensic interview, a cop drove to her house, picked her up, and took her to the station to interrogate her. Then he made her feel like a terrible person and like she deserved it and told her what her stepdad was saying about how she was just a bad kid, and so they dropped the charges for that to. I literally almost murdered him and I still think about doing it.
     
  9. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    Do you feel better now that he's in jail?
     
  10. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    He's not in jail.....
     
  11. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    99 percent of rapists don't go to jail. He got probation, and he is almost off of it. Then he is getting it expunged.
     
  12. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    Oh my god. That is so terrible! He got away with rape and pedophilia?

    This one time, I was in the library and I saw this old guy and like a seven year old, and I noticed he was stroking her, and I told the librarian about it, and the pedophile got up and left, I followed him out to the parking lot, but I was a skinny seventeen year old, but I had a baseball bat in the trunk of my car, so I ran and got it, and when I got back to where he was, he disappeared.
     
  13. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    What the fuck?
     
  14. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    To my knowledge that one is just a rapist.
     
  15. Lucy0

    Lucy0 Active Member

    Yeah seriously just check any record of rape cases. 99 percent don't go to prison. If he didn't plea he would have completely gotten away with it at the final trial because when juries are involved they are never proven guilty. Because all the rapist has to do if there is evidence is say it was willing. And they have to prove "beyond a reasonable doubt" to convict. It's complicated. But yeah that is why professionals always encourage victims to do what is best for themselves because it makes you worse, and there is almost always no punishment. I even lost my job because of it.
     
  16. Inspire&Inquire

    Inspire&Inquire SF Supporter

    I just checked the sex offender registry, and there's this guy on it that I talked to like every other day. Violent sex offender. indecencies with a minor. Not even three years ago.
     
  17. I was molested and bullied for years by an older child that was the daughter of my dad's girlfriend at the time. I doubt I would have any kind of Justice even if I did tell anyone. I was 6 she was about 9 when it started. I told my dad last year for the first time and my mother still has no idea.