Sexual abuse by husband

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by pisces1, Dec 18, 2013.

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  1. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    Is it rape when your husband physically forces you to have intercourse. I am emotionally and mentally not well and I am afraid no one will believe me. I have no one to turn to for help. No family or friends. I had a therapist tell me I am being held prisoner in my own home because he took my car and I have no money of my own and I can not leave the house but maybe once a week. I am not medically or mentally well enough to go to a shelter. I don't know what to do. I have tried to get help but because of attempt on my own life four months ago shelter here in my town will not help me.
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    If you do not consent to having intercourse and he's forcing you when you don't want to then yes that is rape. It sounds like your husband is very controlling and abusive. I think you should really be thinking of reporting this to the police as its domestic violence. It's not an easy decision to make, but if women's shelters won't help you out, then you need to remove the problem.
     
  3. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Oh Golly, I am so sorry he did that to you. My husband raping/forcing me was what led to my suicide attempt 2 yrs ago, in some ways I felt like the betrayal and horror of it all was made worse by it being my husband someone I knew and loved and then theres the fact that as husband and wife you're expected to continue sleeping with your rapist... I still spend nights on the sofa to sleep in "peace"
    I couldn't get away either, despite Crisis Team telling me to report him.
    Only you know whats best for you, so I have no advice for me my my kids dictate my actions... , but I just wanted to say its awful, I get some of what you must be going through and you are not alone and yes its domestic violence... as it all came out after my attempt we/my husband were investigated by social services to check the kids were safe so even the authorities recognize it as domestic abuse and an act of violence.
    Please be kind to yourself & pm me anytime if you want, its time to take care of you now! :hug:
     
  4. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your comment it is much appreciated. Hopefully soon I will find a way out of this situation.
     
  5. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    Ditsy...
    Thank you for sharing this with me. I am so sorry you are going through the same thing as I am and my heart goes out to you knowing the pain it is causing me. I can only hope that for both of us we can find a way out of this situation. No women should have to live like this.
     
  6. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    It is still rape - a marriage license is not a license for him to own your body for his use.

    All that you said is so hard to deal with - he is controlling, he is limiting your contact with anyone else, he is causing you and others to doubt your sanity when it is him that is the problem, the mentally unstable one. One thing that my first therapist drilled into my head - if you live for long enough with an unstable person - then you begin to doubt your own sanity and the stress you are under on an ongoing basis will lead to depression - sounds as if the attempt you made on your life was a cry for escape because you had no other way out. I did the same, must've been 12 years ago - it took lots of strength and every bit of determination I had to get me and my kids out in 2006 - but we lived with it for years before - in fear and no one believing....

    Keep believing in yourself and looking for ways to strengthen you - tell yourself nice things

    The marital rapes - for me have been very hard to deal with - flashbacks and all - but it is possible to get out.

    Take care of you - look for help, police, or abuse counseling places - but be prepared to really leave if you do - it is so hard but you are worth it....
     
  7. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    i dont have anyway out and this shit is killing me slowly. I dont have anyone to turn to for help. dont know how much more i can take
     
  8. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    have you turned to police? do you even think or consider that they might help?
    how is it that your husband has all the money?
    was it always so that he was forceful?
     
  9. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    scaryforest
    No police as marital rape is hard to prove.
    I have been a housewife for a long time and due to a chronic iliness i will have issues going back to work if i leave, will end up homeless with a child.. He controls the money he makes.
    Thank You Kindly.
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi hun, just wanted to say I'm here if you need a friend :)
     
  11. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    Music~ Thank you so very much . Im not doing very well atm .
     
  12. Zaheer

    Zaheer Account Closed

    there is no NGO who could help you ?
     
  13. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    Yes Pisces it is rape - Perhaps if you have a friend he does not know about, you & your children could leave home whilst he is at work & go & stay with. Might be worth considering :freehug:
     
  14. Zaheer

    Zaheer Account Closed

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