Sexuality Issues

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Pickett, Jun 23, 2011.

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  1. Pickett

    Pickett Well-Known Member

    I know this is probably going to sound stupid but it's something I think about a lot. Here's the thing, I'm gay. I really like men, but ever since I was young I was really fascinated with the female body. I love women's clothes, their bodies and their makeup.

    To look at me in person you wouldn't suspect. I don't look very feminine. I don't have a stereotypically voice but underneath what everyone else sees is another person.

    What really upsets me is I get aroused by looking at pictures of women. I know I like men though. I look at them and think about their bodies and their experiences with men. I'm really trying to keep this PG-13 so please forgive me if I cross some border.

    I may look at a picture and think about her on top of a man. The whole problem for me is that I am aroused while looking at the woman, still realize I like men, but am totally confused to death by it.

    Obviously this isn't something I have ever told anyone before. It's made me very confused over the years all the way back to when I first had a pubic hair.

    Obviously this is unnerving and I haven't gotten to ever express it. I know I love the body of a man and I like men. Why then do I have this experience when looking at women? Is it because I feel inadequate or that I won't be able to please a man? Is it because I am pansexual?

    To be completely honest I wish my body were more feminine. I wouldn't say that I am a transsexual, but I do feel a certain way and to cope with my environment I had to do what was expected of me because of my genitalia. I act masculine sometimes but most of the time it is only a front.

    It's not something a person can really talk about in mainstream society or with relatives and such...

    Well, I think everyone deserves a donut if they made it through this post. :donut:
  2. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    Why is this upsetting to you, and does it make a difference which gender arouses you, and for what reasons?

    I can get 'aroused' by women in pictures, but that's where it ends. I don't fantasize about women, I have no desire to be with a woman. That arousal isn't what I define my sexuality by - I consider myself to be straight.

    If you wanted to be with a woman, then you'd probably be bi.
  3. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    No need to label yourself in any way. However you feel is natural for you as a human being. You are you and you have the right to be yourself…just be…

    I’ve seen gay men together on the beach - sometimes both are quite manly/masculine…they seem to be loving and happy just the way they are…

    Thanks for the donut :)
  4. Pickett

    Pickett Well-Known Member

    I guess it shouldn't upset me but let's just say I have dealt with some very judgmental people. Some of them Christians are a real blast too especially when they are in your family and you are queer.

    Anyway, scars from childhood aside, I guess in a society where you must "pick a side" it is really unsettling to be so confused about sexuality and not be able to express your frustration. You're kind of encouraged to keep that to yourself and not talk about it.

    It shouldn't be a big issue, but all of the experiences in my life have forced me to bottle it up or not think and at times it's come to an implosion or explosion. The world is tough all around but it's even tougher when you have emotional problems, issues with your sexuality, etc., etc.

    Your welcome for the donut, LoveBeing. :biggrin:

    Datura thank you for your comment. It seems to make more sense.
  5. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Sexuality is not a black and white issue, not for anybody. Fear of difference and need for solidarity of identity amongst peers in society cause the pervasive idea that you must make a decision one way or the other. Bunch of social nonsense that makes everyone uncomfortable in the end. I sympathize with your runs in with religious folk. My parents were christian fundamentalists.

    I like most women and also a very specific type of men. I'm not sure what that makes me and I'm not in any particular rush to find a label. Que sera.
  6. UsedToBe

    UsedToBe Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the doughnut. I liked the icing.
    That was my struggle once too. Sexuality is not only not black and white, but also fluctuates throughout our lives. On the other hand we are still being asked to fill in those equal opportunities questionnaires where we are supposed to label ourselves. I came out as gay nearly two years ago, but now I think I am bisexual. Don't try to label yourself. Be who you feel you are at a given point of time.

    Can I have one more doughnut?
  7. kreative1

    kreative1 Well-Known Member

    Just go with what you feel and be yourself, no need to confuse it cause of what people or the norm might be.
  8. Pickett

    Pickett Well-Known Member

    I guess I was nervous this would be a dumb question but the way you all have explained that sexuality isn't black and white was very helpful. Thank you. I feel much better. I'm going to remember what I read here today.

    Instead of worrying about it I should find somebody to do it with. Sex by yourself just isn't as fun. :sad: A lot of things in my life really suck right now but some sex would make it suck a little less.
  9. The Unforgiven

    The Unforgiven Well-Known Member

    lol. thats alomost a pun, if you think naughty. :p :devil:
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