SF is a trigger for me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LightInTheDarkestNight, Sep 18, 2013.

  1. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I've been bullied on here years ago, even more recently told I was paranoid and "nothing is wrong with me health wise" and it's all in my "head" oddly enough I was in the hospital extremely ill needing multiple blood transfusions only weeks after being told that. I've been ignored from people who are supposed to be "moderators" or individuals I thought were my "friends". Told certain ideas are stupid and retarded in chat without someone even reading them(total ignorance) A few years ago when I needed someone to talk to and be there for me the most I would get bullied on here as well as in real life. That's just not acceptable isn't this website supposed to be about supporting people and giving them someone to talk to when their in need?

    The ignorance is so great in this world it's crazy. People listen to a few sentences you have to say and think they know you. QUITING ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW ME. I'm ANTI-SOCIAL! Since HS I ain't got no friends...

    It's not the lies that you'll sing... It's what the silence will scream...
  2. Beautiful Hope

    Beautiful Hope Active Member

    I'm new here so I don't know how everything is "supposed" to be here but I'm fairly certain that bullying shouldn't be tolerated. I know how it feels to be bullied. It's a horrible way to go through life. I'm here if you need someone to chat with. Feel free to PM me. I listen & don't judge. I give my opinions openly but I do my best to be positive to others when it's obvious that they need it. You seem to. I'm here. Message me if y want or need to talk.
  3. cie

    cie Banned Member

    Unfortunately I have experienced and witnessed bullying from a certain member who comes to mind, and some others do come across quite strongly-- but remember there's sooo many nice people here that outweigh the bad ones.
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I've seen bullying here...and experienced some myself and it shouldn't be happening at all. It sucks being ignored by friends, I think most of the people I got to know on here stopped talking to me. It's not right for friendship to be conditional, especially in a place where we're supposed to support each other. I'm sorry that you have been bullied and ignored, but there still are good people here. I'm not one to give up on anyone, or treat them badly, so if you need someone to talk to, you can message me at any time.
  5. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Bullying happens everywhere - however I also believe that sometimes a simple brash personality or bluntness in writing can be taken for bullying when it is more a case of difference in communication styles. I have also seen many occasions where a disagreement in opinion is declared to be bullying.

    Moderators and chat monitors are here to keep the site safe and enforce guidelines. Their purpose is not to provide counseling or to be the ear for for every person in chat or on the forums. While many do that a lot, none can be that for everybody all the time and it is not part of the "job description". As a peer to peer support site the support is simply to be able to talk to other members or have a place to talk in general and get other peoples support or ideas. The staff is no tat any higher standard to do this than any other member and some of the "non staff" members here (and that have already replied in this thread) do as much in support as any staff can or does.

    The simple fact is many of the members here, staff and other members alike, have social issues, anger issues, depression, etc. The fact that these social issues appear here as well as in the real world is not surprising, that is why many are members to begin with. Even you as the original poster claim to be anti-social which would indicate you do not believe yourself to be the most impartial judge of the social actions of others. Judgmental perhaps , but not indicative of your belief to be overly socially graceful.

    Some would say the act of publicly lashing out at staff and members like in this thread could be called bullying. I would think of it more as sharing an opinion that you have a right to share, and would say that many other instances of "bullying" on here is nothing more than that as well. If, as the title to your thread says, SF is a trigger for you than avoiding it when in some moods or completely would be the best course of action. There is no point of spending any amount of time when in need of support someplace where you feel worse for coming and that is a choice you can make. Alternatively, use the site for the times it is helpful to you and in situations that it benefits you and if the people in chat at any given time are not as supportive as you need then leave chat. If it is in violation of guidlelines it can be reported and dealt with but differences in opinion or people not voluntarily supporting you in the way you need it at any given time is not a violation of guidelines. There is no quota for how many nice things must be said per day to be a member or how many people one must approach with an offer of advice or support. In general, both of those will be far more frequent if approached in a less aggressive manner.
  6. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    in my experience, their's only been 1 time where i seriously thought about leaving SF- a person who was really putting me off posting.

    but, i've not seen them in my threads lately so it's okay
  7. Tea_at_Four

    Tea_at_Four Staff Alumni

    Light, I've barely seen you on in a very long time, and I have missed you. I remember you taking the time to share information about body building and weight training with SF members who were wanting to improve their health. Months ago i saw your name in chat, but was having a hard night and not talking much at that time. I hope that you will continue to check in and let us know how you are doing from time to time. it sounds like your life has been 'full'.

    Take care,
  8. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I understand your points nyjumpmaster. There is only one time peroid roughly 4 years ago that i consisered i was bullied on here. Misunderstood or not listened to thats more common but it can be frustrating, especially since its a trigger from some stuff ive been through and why my life turned out like it did.

    For the most part the treatment has been fair here and there are quite a few nice members ive chatted with over the years. People in chat can be dissmissive of someones opinion or others problems, i guess it feels like someone is turning off their empathy switch especially when they dismiss a problem when they lack information or dont really take in what youre telling them, which seems much easier for people to do online. By not responding it kind of feels like youre being dismissed when you tell someone something youre concerned about or something you wouldnt just tell anyone. I know no one is obliged to respond but if someone i trusting another person with sensitive information and you dont get a reply it seems kind of cold and uncaring.

    Thanks tea i may check in chat sometime my java is a bit messed on my computer though so ill need to get thst figured out.

    My mood was volatile this week my sons mom flipped out and hung up when i said she shouldnt tell my son "listen to mommy or youll get an owwy" she threatened to spank him before then tried to say i didnt have a right to an opinion or comment on her skills when she has him most of the time. She knows i have health issues and a whack load of other problems yet doesnt show much empathy.. Then i got no text or call back when i was going to visit my son nd she said the next day she lost her phone but it seemed possibly intentional..

    Even this other "girl" who lead me on for over a year has been cruel when i was so sick in june/july days before going into the hospital she showed no empathy to me and was even annoyed how i wasnt doing well. How heartless is that.. Luckily ive known for months that theres something not right with her and shes dangerous!

    Sometimes the truth is stranger then fiction! I like that movie will ferrel hears the narrator describing his life and people think hes a skitzophrenic but then his psychitrist realizes its a tragedy hes in and an author is writing the book, and they need to find her and get the ending changed before she finishes it and kills him off.

    I also have some OCD on top of all my other issues and it seems to be getting worse especially with certain triggers...
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 21, 2013