SF the popularity contest

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ruby, Jun 5, 2007.

  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    nobody cares on here and that's that. If I was to go and hang myself right now, nobody would care. If I took an OD, nobody would give a fuck. What's with all the fake support and optimism? A KNIFE understands me more than any human on this earth. How sad is that? I need to turn to a knife just to survive. I get fed fucking schizo tablets that sedate me. I wish I didnt give a fuck about anything, wish I could experience apathy 24/7. Sick of people altering the thoughts in my mind, people who try to sell stories to the newspapers, people who plan on stabbing on in the back (literally). Why can't people just leave me alone?
     
  2. Syd

    Syd Guest

    I'm actually going to have to agree with you this time. I'm fucking sick of the fake optimism on this site. I can tell the difference between genuine empathy and half-assed responses, and it's pissing me off a lot.

    I don't know what else to say, other than I know what you're saying.
     
  3. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    :sad: i have nothing to say to that.
     
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I really am sorry that you feel that way. I don't know what to say other than I really do take offense at what was said. I give many hours of my time doing what I can to support the members of this forum. My thoughts and words are genuine and not in anyway false. I do care about the people here. More than I care about myself. I have shed many tears when I see members in pain and know that no matter what I do, I can't help them ease that pain. I cannot change the past for myself or them. I can only hope to make enough difference that they can see a way to change the future. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, so you have a right to speak what is on your mind. You have just confirmed to me how worthless I really am. I am sorry to have failed you.
     
  5. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    ^ Corrina, you are not worthless in any way. :hug:

    And I don't really know what to say to that, I'm sorry our words aren't enough..
     
  6. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    I care. I hope that doesn't sound "half-assed" because it isn't. And razor blades get me better than people too, so, y'know...

    :hug: Ruby x
     
  7. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    for starters, ruby, idon't mean to offendyou in any way, but <Mod Edit: Abacus21 - insulting>. if it wasn't for ppl on this forumn reaching out to me while i'm in need i wouldn't be here now.
    gentlelady, i am specifically talking about you, terry, and freakin out,
    then theres ishy and resistance.
    pneuma andcybersk8r, and more
    these are the ppl that reachout to me when i'm fucked up. that has been a lot lately. these ppl are my guardian angels. i would not be here now if it wasn't for ppl on this forum. believe you me. sorry to offend you, but it makes me mad when ppl dis other ppl here. we all try to help each othe. that is what this forum is about. helping each other when we are in need
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 6, 2007
  8. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    We do our best, even when not feeling great.

    All of us do.
     
  9. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    abacus, thank you for the edit. i was mad. that is all, ruby i apologize for disrespecting you. your opinion is yours. i have no say so in how you feel. i'm so sorry you feel the way you do though. i ge tnothing but support from ppl here. i can honestly say i would not be here making this post if it wasn't for ppl reaching out to me when i need it. i really am sorry you feel this way. if you ever want to talkto a crazyjcat i'm here more than not. feel free to talk if you wish,. i hope you do though. i care more about the ppl here than i do myself. xoxo
     
  10. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    i agree, Ruby. But, thing is it's a very big forum, you just can't keep track of everyone. So sad, but there seems so many members drift away from here, you can't know what happened to all of them, it's hard to keep track especially when we're not our best ourselves...i don't like fakeness. Is why i don't answer posts when i don't have anything positive to say, thankfully someone does or there'd be no replies, people would feel unheard. Some people do have genuine strong friendships here, others find it harder to connect. i'm sure no one would give a fuck if i killed myself either, but i accept that. Wish there was something i could do to help. i think you're more valued here than you realise. x
     
  11. ~Nobody~

    ~Nobody~ Well-Known Member

    Goddamnit. I would give a fuck if either of you did! I have PM'd you Sue, and Ruby I really do care. I wish I'd managed to show it better. I thought I was doing okay. I hope what you said you said in a moment of self loathing and anger rather than cold honesty. Because I do care. As I said above.

    I'm sorry that I can't convince you.

    :hug: x
     
  12. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    I'm with jcat on this one. These threads irritate me. People come on here saying "Nobody cares if I kill myself", or even better, "I'm gonna do it right now", and then they wait five minutes and if nobody's posted they post back "I knew it! Nobody DOES care!"

    People here have their own problems without having to constantly validate someone else. This doesn't mean they don't care, but it's kind of a slap in the face to the people who take the time out to try and help others only to realize later that it goes in one ear and out the other, or that the person was just doing it to get a huge influx of "Noooo don't do it! We care so much!" I find it manipulative.

    I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but I see a lot of these posts, and I don't think people on this site (most of whom are already having enough problems as it is) need to be upset by this sort of thing, or to feel like they are responsible for repeatedly pulling someone back from the edge, just because that person happens to be feeling unappreciated at the time.
     
  13. pisces-music-girl

    pisces-music-girl Well-Known Member

    I hope I'm not coming off as fake, because I really do care.
     
  14. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I have to admit ive thought the same as you Ruby a number of times, but Im not sure its as much about "fakeness" as it is about cookie cutter responses. I think the overwhelming majority of people on here are genuine, there is a sense of compassion. Couple things to keep in mind though.

    Most of us are anonymous strangers, without knowing a persons history, or having a connection through friendship, a previous chat, or some sort of decent contact, its often difficult for a stranger to write something meaningful to another, they need to get to know each other a little bit first.

    Also, due to people being unwell themselves, tired, stressed, even suicidal etc it can be draining to write a really good reply, so we see a lot of :hug:, and a lot of "hope you get better soon" type replies and I can understand that the OP might find that a bit disheartening? kinda pointless? Im sure its not through a lack of wanting to be helpful, its just really hard when your mentally and physically unwell.

    Also, have to consider that people work at there own pace, for some people to write a 3 or 4 paragraph reply to a post can be quite draining, might only do that once a day, and some people arent very good at expressing themselves in words, or getting across what they want to say, so they simply dont reply at all.

    Also, mentally, I know sometimes I find it very hard to focus and think clearly, mind is going 50 places a once...that makes it really hard to nail down a reply worth writing.

    Often its enough for people just to see that there pain has been recognised, so a single sentence can be all it takes....sometimes you want more, you NEED people to understand how you feel, thats when you might feel you dont get the support you need on a site like this.

    People do care, and I hope you can get at least some of the support you need from this site, but as Ive said before, its even more important to talk to friends and family, and see a psych/therapist from time to time if you can.

    Take care :)
     
  15. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I don't know whether you were talking generally, but i've never once came on here threatening to kill myself. I didn't expect insults just because I expressed my opinion. To be honest, I shouldn't care. Like I said, my best friend is a knife. Ah, I can't say anything. I kinda wish the doctors would put me in hospital for the rest of my existance.

    Thanks nobody :hug:
     
  16. SeemsPerfect

    SeemsPerfect Guest

    Ruby and Syd:

    I respect how you feel but I don't know anyone that would take time out of their day to reply to a post just to offer a BS sentiment. Especially not at a site such as this when ALL of us are going through our own personal hell. Pesonally, I'm confident that if someone posts something they truly mean it. Let's face it -- no one is getting a dollar/euro/pound for each post they make.

    Yeah, sometimes someone will try to show a "brighter" side to a situation, but why would they do so? In an attempt to help someone see something they may have not seen previously.

    It's cool that you voiced your opinion b/c that shows an inner-strength too many people in the world lack. I really respect you for that. But I gotta raise the BS Flag on this forum being a "popularity contest" or people posting something but not truly caring.

    Again, with the amount of sh/t ALL OF US deal with on the daily basis I highly doubt anyone here has the time or energy to devote to the spreading of a Mary Poppins ideology of "all is well so let's go sing in a field of daisies."

    For the record -- I truly care about every single person on this site. I may not always agree with someone but I always care about them. Life is hard enough -- I don't want us to start turning on each other, too.
     
  17. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    There are many reasons why people can't respond. I think what people forget here (The ones that post the "Nobody cares" After no response within 5 minutes) that SF is here at their convenience. If anyone forgot this site is here, it's not like it was made to be centered around one person (even though that happens on occasion). This site welcomes and helps people, that's great.

    I think a lot of it is, people who make these posts...it's a lot to handle.

    Listening to a problem, up building them is hard work. But luckily there are people with big hearts on this forum. There are many; mia, calise, resistance, abacus, robin, gentlelady, thedeafmusician, moonstar89, malcontent, -vikki-, shygirl, sarah and many others who have been here for 1, 2, or even 3 years, picking people's lives up. Don't you think it gets hard? They aren't getting paid to do this.

    It's not like this is a foundation that's obligated, or anything. This is a good, warm-hearted forum. They're here to help people, and they want nothing back but the welfare of the people who pass by.

    I remember having a conversation with GentleLady awhile back. We were talking about how people come and go, some stay, some leave. We don't know, unless they say. You have to WORK with us. Since it's a forum, there might not be people ready to just reply to a post, instantly. It's not easy. It's tiring, there's nothing anyone gets out of it (except the person being helped).

    What people don't realize is, they have to be thankful that this site is here. What if it wasn't? You ever think about how many lives this site has saved?

    I just don't see how people can get off on challenging this site's ability to help people. Much less the loving Members who were here.
     
  18. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    I'm talking about my own personal experiences, I can't speak for the other members. Favouritism is a big issues on this website. I'm sorry but some people don't make an effort with certain individuals. I don't care if everyone hates me now, I hate myself so it's ok. I actually DON'T want attention.
     
  19. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    It's true that not every call can be fully answered. It may happen more then once. I know first hand too that I haven't been ignored, but I haven't exactly always been listened to either.

    But we all need help, Ruby.
     
  20. Syd

    Syd Guest

    Don't take my response personally if I don't have a conflict with you. Chances are, you have no idea what I'm even talking about, so don't think that my personal issues with some members has anything to do with those of you that replied. The 'Let it all Out' board is supposed to be a place to vent, after all.

    My reply wasn't directed at majority of this site, even though it came across that way. Ruby happened to post this a few minutes after I posted (and edited out) a complaint in another thread, so I was still angry, and it was purely coincidental that this happened when it did. I was pissed off over how some people behave on this site, and I felt like venting for a long time, but refrained from doing so because I didn't want people to think I'm being disrespectful. I feel that what I've expressed here is honestly how a lot of people on this site also feel, but are afraid to say it.

    It doesn't mean that YOU personally don't care, it was about how I and others honestly feel much of the time due to some of the members' behavior. I know a lot of these actions are not intended to be offensive, but some of these things really get to me.

    I'm not going to talk about it further on this post. If you really want to know what I'm angry about, you can always send me a PM and maybe we'll discuss it. I guess some people will see me as an asshole, but I'd rather people think that than assume I'm perfectly happy with everything on this forum.