SH feelings unfufilled

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by moko, Jul 5, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. moko

    moko Active Member

    I have been under a lot of stress in the last few days, mainly because of very important deadlines coming up soon, the erratic behaviors of my roomate that are driving me to my limits of sanity and the fact that it's so hot/humid and it's playing with my level of tolerance...

    Anyhoo. I have terrible urges to SH. I constantly have my box-cutter open in front of me. I play with it, making small marks on my skin, just enough to see some redness. However, no matter how intense the impulse, I have some sort of a mental block. I am unable to fallow through in fear of having marks and scars that might potentially be detrimental to my career.Because of that, I am fearing that I will seek to SH in other ways because I don't seem to have any venting outlets beside this forum. I don't have any 'close' friends at the moment and I don't have the time to go see a counsellor.

    I know SH is not a healthy way to vent but I feel it's necessary to get my stuff done and to deal with with things on a day to day basis. I just hope I will have the will to stay safe until the rush is over.
     
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I don't have much to say but I can relate to having SH urges not being acted on...

    You could try and put your SH urges to something else? like writing, or letting out in whatever way that helps you?
     
  3. moko

    moko Active Member

    The urges seemed to have calmed down a bit since yesterday. I am ok today too. I just want my things that are due to get done as fast and as good as possible. I'm a overachiever that just doesn't feel like achieving anymore...at the worst moment possible! I've been studying for 6 years for this and now, 9 days away from the D-Day, I feel like chocking...
    I can't help but to think that I should be punishing myself for not working hard. Maybe after all this is done, I will go see someone. This lack of motivation in this critical time is upsetting and fuelling my urges...
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.