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Shadow Of Death

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Godsdrummer, Nov 15, 2011.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Death is hanging out with me lately.

    Psalms 23 says, that even though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death....

    Hell, I LIVE in the valley of death.

    It's like death is an object that I keep in my back pocket, ready to pull out at a moment's notice.

    I used to write a list of what's wrong in my posts, things that were leading me to deciding to consider death. I'm not doing that anymore. Suffice it to say, my life is incredibly f'd up.

    I even google searched "suicide notes left on facebook." last night.

    Back in 08 when my wife initiated a forced seperation upon us, I remember reading a story of a family man in my town who checked out. I remembered thinking back then, why didnt I use that method? And he was lucky.

    I think that today. It's amazing how stuff and crap and money and all that can bring a man down. Driving to work this morning, I even found the place where I will go when the time comes, if I decide to let my shadow win.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Bill, if you are finding that you "live in the valley of death", please, "walk quietly and carry a big stick" - one that you can lean on when you feel yourself slipping.

    Please stay safe. Know that your friends here can help you fight the shadows in that dark valley as well. :hug:
  3. Constantinos

    Constantinos Well-Known Member

    Last night seems wasn't a very good night for you - did something specific happen?
  4. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Nothing specific. Just realizations setting in.
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