Death is hanging out with me lately. Psalms 23 says, that even though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death.... Hell, I LIVE in the valley of death. It's like death is an object that I keep in my back pocket, ready to pull out at a moment's notice. I used to write a list of what's wrong in my posts, things that were leading me to deciding to consider death. I'm not doing that anymore. Suffice it to say, my life is incredibly f'd up. I even google searched "suicide notes left on facebook." last night. Back in 08 when my wife initiated a forced seperation upon us, I remember reading a story of a family man in my town who checked out. I remembered thinking back then, why didnt I use that method? And he was lucky. I think that today. It's amazing how stuff and crap and money and all that can bring a man down. Driving to work this morning, I even found the place where I will go when the time comes, if I decide to let my shadow win.