Shaky Ground

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by AfterFact, Sep 29, 2012.

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  1. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    The last few months have been stressful to put it mildly. First I get into a car crash. I got hit by a semi-truck. The left side of my door was smashed up, I last my driver's side rearview mirror, the entire upper driver's seat door had to be replaced. I was inches away from getting killed. If it had gone a few more feet to the right it would have been much worse.
    Then on my way to Cross Country practice I misjudge the distance between me and another car and when I go for it I nearly got T-boned, and it would have been my fault. Then a kid at my school brings several weapons to school including a gun, and shoots up the ceiling of the room he was in. A guy tackled him and the gun went off. Nobody was hurt, but I was in the same hallway. I literally walked past the guy minutes before. I was in the men's lockeroom changing for PE when it happened. I was literally 20 feet away.
    Because of my abuse of Adderall during last semester, I've been on various different meds, and I'm still adjusting to Vyvance, a different stimulant. It's not at the dose I need yet, so I've had a hard time concentrating in class. I've just been overwhelmed lately. I had a nervous breakdown in school. I went to the nurse office and I just lost it. That's never happened to me before. Usually I can handle it, but the other day I just snapped. I dropped a class for a study hall so I could catch up on homework and keep my grades up. But I've just been really stressed out and overwhelmed lately. I have a person I can talk to, and she has helped me a great deal. Though it's a bit awkward for me. Because I have feelings for her, but she has a boyfriend, she's a senior and I know its never going to be more than friendship. She doesn't know I feel this way, and she's not going to know, there's no point. It seems I have a crush on every girl lately. I've even thought about dating freshmen, and I'm a Junior. I'm desperate for a relationship. It's more than the typical horny teenage boy sort of need. I just feel like there's something missing in me that only a girl can fill. I don't know if that makes sense. It doesn't make sense to me. Nothing lately has made sense.
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    rotten things do tend to pile up on us all at once, don't they, and a lot of what you went through is just plain scary

    never been in a car accident, but have been in a bus accident

    have had several near-misses with other cars while driving

    never been shot at, but have had a gun pushed into my face and didn't take the the train i was aiming for once several years ago and missed being in the car that a gunman shot up killing a whole lot of people

    my nervous breakdown was in human resources and kept me out of work for 3 months with about a month of that in the hospital off and on

    could go on but just wanted to show that i get how horrible all of this can be

    a good relationship can make it all easier to deal with, no doubt about it but trying to find one out of desperation or need can be very risky and backfire really easily

    i've found that the best relationships tend to develop over time but usually not during a time of crisis - what happens when the crisis is over? a good relationship can help carry you through a crisis because it isn't rooted in one

    now i'm coming up with all of this looking back - haven't been in high school for 35 years - so i get it if you want to take anything i say with a grain of salt

    i remember feeling then a lot like you do now - actuallly found a girlfriend for a couple of months until others convinced her i wasn't worth it and i let her go because i believed i wasn't worth it either

    keep it simple and slow and ask out a couple of junior girls, maybe sophs (speaking as a father if my freshman daughter was being pursued by a junior...)

    just keep it light and see what you have in common - even though you may think so, you don't have to rush things

    i think it will all work out better that way
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