Shamed Is Her Condition (1st Draft)

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Julia-C, Mar 10, 2011.

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  1. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    Behind a heavy wooden door
    green covered steps leading in.
    She’s on display with clothing
    strewed around the sent of Gin.

    Secret place hidden by normality
    and his deceptive outside attractions.
    Within this room of evils depravity
    her sorrow forms his satisfactions.

    Private place no one dare disturb
    away from judgmental conditioning.
    She’s bound in contorted postures
    her cries for reprieve are petitioning.

    Creation of his abnormal dark desires
    and sadistic portraits of her displeasure.
    His excited heart binds her wrists
    tightly stretched hopelessly tethered.

    Past torment’s gate exist scars origins
    its leather punishes reddened skin.
    Tears can’t cool her swollen whelps
    of the torturers self fulfilling sin.

    Cruelty hidden by his honest eyes
    a window to her feared perdition.
    Leaving the privacy of his dungeon
    broken and shamed is her condition.
    J.C.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    so very well written so sad it makes me
     
  3. A.SoNiC.boY

    A.SoNiC.boY Well-Known Member

    Don't know what to say... Its terribly beautiful in its own way. Very well written. :hug:
     
  4. kudeegee

    kudeegee New Member

    "to truly pen a love song you have to have gone through a black hole" micheal stipe, r.e.m. i butchered that but you are need to respond, I am a white single female and YOU spoke to me, your IQ and pain, guilt, purpose, etc... level is above and beyond. I am and have BEEN and I will bet you my car I can help you! kelly
     
  5. Julia-C

    Julia-C Well-Known Member

    Thanks Guys

    Total Eclipse, thanks for your compliment of it being well written. It still has a few writing issues which have got under my skin, but it's just a second draft. Yes it is very sad that so many women live with such a domineering man.

    The Stain Remaining, thank you too. I know what you mean. It feels almost wrong to like a poem like of that topic. Thank you for you compliments.

    Kudeegee, I thank you for your offer to help here. This poem is not about me. I wouldn't put up with a man who treated me this way. Which is probably why I am single. lol Thanks for your compliments.


    A lot of my poetry isn't about me. I write poetry of this topic in order to let those who have gone through, or is going through these kind of abuses. That they aren't alone.
     
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