Shameless F*****g Idiots

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kath, May 22, 2007.

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  1. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    im not condoning violence and im glad i didnt do it and ive never been violent but i am gonna express my feelings.No matter how ashamed of them i may be.For the first time today i really really felt like raising a hand to another adult.i am so so angry.i was that clos4e......what scares me is that part of me wishes id got closer.i hope i know i never would but this experience has been very powerful for me,one i dont like very much.......i dont know how to deal with it emotionally.i am just so so angry.
     
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Punch a pillow really hard, scream and shout what you'd like to say to this person. :smile:
     
  3. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    It needs more than that.i am dying and this is how she treats me.My own behaviour may have been less than impeccable.Thats not excusable.But the way im bieng treated when im unwell is despicable.She promised me.She promised she would be there for me.She pormised no matter what happens.She promised she would be there.She told me she knew i was going to die,that she knew it wasnt my fault,that she wouldnt walk away whether i survived or not,and now shes walking away.YOu cant tell someone you know they are dying and then walk away like this.It hurts too much.
     
  4. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    i just want to hurt myself more and more now.More and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and i wont stop then i'll be dead.i'll have to be at some point.i jjust wont stop till im there.It has to come and then none of this will matter then.None of it.
     
  5. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    I don't know much about your distress so I just send you a :hug:
     
  6. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Thanks.Hugs.Probably better for you that you dont know much about my distress.

    i mean how many people want to know the truth anyway in this world.........and i would think very very carefully anyone thinking of saying i do.

    ive already been told im wrong to share with people [not refering to forum specially but in life] when im in the situation i am and maybe they sare right.

    Oh well i'll just take out it all out on me.F**k staying safe.What have i got to lose.
     
  7. Mio

    Mio Well-Known Member

    Hello, sweetheart.
    I know that I've not been here for so long time. but I remember you :hug:
    I feel bad and hurt right now too. I just don't know what to write to support you, I'm sorry. I'm broken too right now. But I want to say that I don't want you to die. You may say: "It's not your business, because you're not here and you don't have an idea of what I'm going through" and you will be right. I'm not with you in real and I don't have an idea of what's going on with you, but just believe me, I don't forget about you and I wish I was with you. I know it probably won't help, but maybe the fact that I suffer too will help you to understand that I'm able and I'm willing to feel the same as you do and I'm willing to be next to you and hug you. I love my Kath.

    :hug:
     
  8. Tara

    Tara Guest

    have you spoken to this person?
    im sure ive seen a list somewhere...*thinks* i cant think of where atm, but it gave other options rather than getting violent. i found it useful...i'll try and find it, or if someone else can remember it!

    good luck, i hope you feel better soon :arms:
     
  9. Bostonensis

    Bostonensis Guest

    Everyday since I found this forum,I keep checking everyday to read you (others) post. The fact that I could have been somewhere else & I choses to make sure to check on us here is a already an effort to show that behind these words are lsitening ears,understanding & a wishful thinking heart that cares. Someone here must be real if not all. I am here becoz I needed your support too one way or the other.Behind these words are real caring human beings that choses to be here instead of somewhere else.Behind the letters are fingers on the keyboard & that is me.Tell me & I am listening /reading /both.
     
  10. Tara

    Tara Guest

    thats beautiful bostonensis...and soo soo true!
     
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