Share unusual experience

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by m.net, Aug 3, 2009.

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  1. m.net

    m.net Member

    Hi everybody, it's my first post on this forum.
    I'm writing to share something that I think it's unusually. I have been thinking about suicide for a long time, so in the last 2 years after pressure of few friends, I went to the doctor because I started to suffer of panic attacks too, so he gave me some anti-depressants for my panic attacks and for my depression, he suggested me about a mental health support too, so because it's a public structure you have to been seen by few people before they can give you a therapist. Anyway I got bored of all these visits to all these different people, and because I went to my doctor only for the panic attacks I decided to don't see any therapist so they don't waste time and resources with me. Then in this mental health centre a person who was following me decided to make a final appointment with a pshychologist to decide what to do with me.
    And this final appointment has been weird from usually, usually every person who I have seen has said that I don't have to give up, that I'll be fine, it's only a period etc etc, but this psychologist after the interview said something like this:
    "Well, we can't do anything for you, because you are not requiring any help from us, and because suicide is not illegal in this country, I can only dismiss you and say good luck"

    I've been touched from the honesty of this person, it's the first time that I met a doctor that is so honest rather than say the usually bullshits to try to be positive.

    I would just share this experience because I think it's not usual.

    PS
    sorry for my English
     
  2. Kaganovich

    Kaganovich Active Member

    I had a very smilar experience here in the UK. I think sometimes if you are articulate can can rationalise your fellings to a certain point you are never going to receive help from mental health specialists, because you are not 'ticking the right boxes'.
     
  3. sweetpea0

    sweetpea0 Well-Known Member

    I think it's horrible that someone in the mental health care would tell someone they can't help them. Don't they get it that the reason you are there is that you need help. Please try and see someone else. If you are feeling suicidal call the crisis line and talk with someone there. Don't give up.
     
  4. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    that's awful.Please do see someone else.Go back and say yes you do require help from them.:unsure:
     
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    My mental health worker just recently told me " I cant stop you if that is what you want to do." And the bloody hypocrite has a poster in her office that says " Suicide is preventable.... talk to someone." So knowing that she cant stop me I gave her the full plan. It actually brought a little relief to unload it and has taken a little of the anxiety about it away making it easier to wait for the time and date.

    And I agree with the other post that if you seem to be level headed enough they dont take you seriously. Well I've had years to practice telling and showing people what they want to see rather than what they need to see. I would suggest trying one more visit and try to show them what they need to see hun to get you the help you are looking for. Good luck.
     
  6. just.me

    just.me Account Closed

    you are very naive...
    your doctor can easily stop you, he just have to write a simple latter
    and then cops will knock on your door asking you to come with them
    while they take you to the local mental health hospital, where you will spend the next few days or months...
    but that is only if he\she knows that you are in real danger to yourself.
    many people just talk, they never harm themselves...
    same thing was with me, i was talking on and on about how i want to kill myself
    but only after my first suicide attempt, doctors really started to talk to me and support me

    anyways to the guy\girl that opened this topic
    where are you from?
     
  7. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I agree with just.me , actually that happened to me. I told the counselor my plan & minutes after getting home he showed up with the police. If you are a danger to yourself, they have the right to take you to the hospital. And actually if you refuse they have the right to arrest you. Even though suicide isnt illegal here in Canada, if you dont cooperate with the police when they are trying to stop you, then you can placed under arrest.
     
  8. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    You can be forceably detained (what they called being sectioned in the UK) but first of all you have to have a mental disorder. Unfortunately, the criteria is very woolly and anything from depression onwards could be classed as mental disorder. Then you have to be a real and IMMEDIATE danger to yourself or others... usually, I plan to kill myself next week won't do anything. I think though what your mh worker probably meant is that if you are fully determined to kill yourself that there is nothing that they can do because they can't lock you up indefinitely because you feel suicidal. If you are determined to do it then you will probably do so, eventually. I think all of us have that small niggling doubt which prevents us from doing the deed... after all, that's why we are here, getting support from others.
     
  9. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Maybe this so called professional was waiting to hear you say you did in fact need his or her help. Who can understand them really they play too many mind games instead of just helping you. HEor sheshould have set up another appointment with someone else to see you if was unable to help you. If he or she couldn't figure out by themselves you need help then they are not the professionals you want to be going to anyway. Go BAck and get the help you need demand it.
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    wow..That is disgraceful :(

    You really need to see someone else. Don't let that bad experience put you off seeking help elsewhere. I had a brilliant counsellor, loved her to bits, she helped me lots..can't see her anymore because I can't leave my house :/ .. they do exist,they aint all bad :hug:
     
  11. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend


    I'm far from naive. Hun I'm 45, have more attempts than I like to remember and my mental health worker, not my doc has been there in session with me before for every one that I tried. She knew I was a danger and I was beyond seeing that I was. Unfortunately I can not afford anyone else, cuz trust me if I could I would chose someone that is professional and knowledgabe. I have spent too many years suffer from these demons, God knows I would like to be "normal". Would like to spend even one day not always fighting the thoughts and urges. And that is why I strongly recommend that the op try someone else. He/she shouldnt have to fall through the cracks of a shitty health care system.
     
  12. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I agree with ignored. I think you may have misunderstood what they were trying to say. It isn't really that there is nothing they can do to help, but in the end only you can control it. If you decide to go, you will find the way. All the professionals can really do is offer you guidance and try to help change your mindset, but you have to do all the hard work. You can be sectioned or committed, but it is only until the immediate danger is over. So really, it is all in your hands.
     
  13. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Ditto!! I agree with ignored and Gentlelady..You need to find a good therapist to help get you back on a positive path..I found that my therapist is more helpful than anyone..
     
  14. m.net

    m.net Member

    I'm from UK, and I'm a "he" so it's easier for us talk about me rather than use he/she :)

    I opened the thread just to share my experience, not to ask a help or similar, but thanks for your comments

    As I said, I don't blame her for what she said, but I admire for her honesty, she can't do anything else because if I don't want to change there is nothing that they can do to help me.

    About police etc, I don't think they have the right to arrest me because I don't have any mental illness, and my decision is based on a logical thought, and because suicide is not illegal I think there is nothing that they can do.
     
  15. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Where I live, the police have the "right" to take you to hospital (probably "public disturbance" charges or similar if you don't go willingly). You can be detained for up to 72 hours if a p-doc writes up a form to keep you there because, in his/her opinion, you are a danger to yourself and/or others.

    After the 72 hours, you might still find yourself in hospital if doctors there believe you are still a danger to yourself and/or others.

    My further understanding is that the hospital stay could last an indefinite amount of time until a court appointed p-doc makes a diagnosis (if needed) - and if you get a diagnosis of a mental illness and/or you are still deemed to be a danger to yourself and/or others, they can keep you...repeat cycle as needed.

    You might be able to fight the whole issue in court.

    I expect this general procedure is similar in most countries.

    The average mental health professional would argue this, telling you that depression and many other mental illnesses induce physical changes in the brain's chemistry. These physical changes cause altered and irrational thinking, such as negativity and suicidal thinking.

    I hope you don't do anything self-destructive, hun.

    :hug:
    A.
     
  16. m.net

    m.net Member

    My thought is quite simple. The life is unfair, and this is a point that every doctor agreed with it, then you can choose to deal with it and try to find things that keep your mind out from the unfairness of the life and then be happy (but the life will be still unfair) or decide that you don't like your life and then end it.

    The most of people think that the second point is not a choice, and the only think possible is to try to deal with the life in anyway, asking for help if you can do by yourself. I respect they idea, but I think I can choose, and then I choose what I want.

    If I can't choose, it means that I'm not free, so the life is even worse.

    I don't have any problem, my life is great, good job, good flat, some good friends, I can say of myself that I'm not ugly. If I could choose to be someone else to be happier, I wouldn't change with anyone else, becase the life would still be unfair. There is nothing that I would like to do, have or be, because nothing will change.
    In my life I tried to improve my life, to make it better, I've changed many things and improved them, but the unfairness is still there, then I understood that anything I could do I wouldn't be able to change the world, so I could only change myself and accept this world and this life, but I don't want because it's not that there is something wrong with me, I'm good as I'm at the moment. So if I can't be myself and be happy, what's the point to go on?
    This is why I'm not asking for help, and I'm not thinking to see any other doctors.

    When and if I kill myself I would be sorry for people next to me that are not able to see my life with my eyes and than they won't understand my decision.

    So far I'm still here because I'm not ready yet, I need to be sure that when will be the moment I would be able to do it 100%, so I'm training myself and thinking to other methods to try to find the best method that can give me the highest % of success, and it would be great if it looks like an accident, so than people close to me could accept it a little bit easier
     
  17. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I honestly didn't mean anything judgmental by my words.

    Definitely a "choice" is ultimately made, and perhaps it is made based on whether one feels life is fair, has purpose, is rewarding, etc., etc.

    I meant that mental health professionals would say that the lines of thought that bring one to choose to suicide are because the person's brain is not functioning, physically, the way a healthy brain, free of illness, would.

    It sounds like you have many good things in life. I'm sorry that somehow you haven't found the reasons that would steer you toward enjoying a fulfilling life as opposed to wanting to end it.

    If our lives hurt no one, and even help someone, then being ourselves is fine, isn't it? What makes you say you cannot be yourself and be happy? (That sounds like an internal struggle for you.)

    I understand the frustration and feeling of not being able to change the world's inequalities. They exist. We all encounter the hard end of things from time to time. Some people have a hard life from beginning to end. Others have a relatively easy life. It might be ideal to think we can make things completely fair. The earth itself is different from one place to another, so resources and lifestyles are different - and not always fair.

    However, we don't have to change the whole world to make a "difference". We can do things in our immediate sphere that make things better for ourselves and for others. If there's even one moment we can improve for someone, maybe especially someone "else", I think we're doing something worthwhile and positive with our lives.

    I dunno, hun. I believe (perhaps naïvely) in the ripple effect of kindness and good will. What do you believe in? How would you like the world to be more fair?

    Anyway, again, I hope you don't do anything self-destructive. :hug:

    A.
     
  18. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    In Canada the police can "arrest" you under the mental health act. It means that they can use what ever means necessary to transport you to the hospital. You do not have a record or appear in court or anything as if a normal criminal offence had been done and you were charged that way. But if they feel you are a danger to yourself or anyone else they can detain you, or arrest you and transport you to a nearby hospital. This I know all too well (lol).
    Thanks for the original post m.net I'm sure many other people have experienced what you have. My mental health worker has out right stated that she doesnt see any help for the problems I face. She feels as frustrated as I do. And when she said she couldnt stop me, I truly believe that she wouldnt try (from past experiences with her). In the end it is our own decision to make. And I'm glad that you havent had to make that final decision yet. Like Acy said, I like to think there is a ripple effect from a single act of kindness. And that one person can make a difference (albeit a tiny baby step maybe) in this overwhelming world we live in. Hun start by doing exactly what you are doing here, talking and sharing with other members. Just your words alone might be a tremendous help to another member. There one act of kindness and you may not even ever be aware of it happening. Now that person may decide to fight and carry on and share another act with another member... and so on and so on and so on......
     
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