Look at all the people in pain here, each one of us feels alone and ultimatley we are, but at least we know there are other sensitive souls out there that want to listen and try to help. I've cried so much tonight about things i can't bear to talk about, i don't know what i'm going to do I feel mixed up. I'd love to be a strong person, selfish and put myself forward and always think about the future. Christ I envy people like that. We've all got our own stories, i don't like to feel like a victim at the moment but that is what i am in a sense, you can't change who you aare inside. Just when you think you can get your life back on some sort of track something comes along and smacks you in the mouth. What do they say it only makes you stronger, i'm not sure about that as it just makes me more sad and depressed. Optimisim, dreams, hopes, aspirations for the future seem pipe dreams the future seems not exciting, no new challenges, people to meet, just new challenges that will go wrong and people taht will ultimatley hurt you. It sounds pathetic doesn't it, and that is how i feel pathetic and week. I thought i was a good person, good people finish last, if they make it to finish at all. I'm going to upset a lot of people i think but i'm not going to be able to avoid it in the end. Why does life have to be like this, we've made our own reality and it's not good.