Sharing with my partner

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by PaleBlueEyes, Mar 4, 2012.

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  1. PaleBlueEyes

    PaleBlueEyes Member

    Hi, Sorry but this going to stay brief and with little detail.

    2 Years ago me + gf had 2 of my 'friends' over.

    Turns out they drugged us both.

    Next morning she told me what one of them did to her while she thought i was upstairs passed out.

    I was myself had a similar thing happen by the same guy that night.

    I haven't been able to tell her yet.

    It all came out to a family member and the doctors at A + E when exactly 2 years after it I ended up overdosing massively not to die but to send the recollections away. I got myself to the hospital somehow anyway thankfully.

    So im getting generalized counselling now and on the nhs waiting list for specialist therapy to talk about what happened that night.

    It's eating me up inside her not knowing but i just don't know if i should tell her. She refuses to talk about what happened to her to anyone and to be honest i am doubting if it was all non consentual. Her story has changed a few times.

    Any advice one if i should tell her or what do i do.
  2. jessneedstobethin

    jessneedstobethin Well-Known Member

    i know it's difficult to even consider sharing these things, but if you've already taken the first step to counseling and you know it can help you, she may be in the same position you were before you OD'd. you might not trust her right now, but you need to clear your doubts, or at least learn the truth, to help yourself heal. if you sit down and have an open and honest conversation with her, tell her the truth, then maybe she'll open up a bit more to you and you can help each other.
    i hope this helps :) you're going great, just keep looking to the future
  3. LostNerd

    LostNerd Well-Known Member

    Instead of doubting, maybe try talking about it with her... I think you should tell her. She was honest and told you. Obviously, it's your decision, however, relationships are all about trust and honesty. Without one, you don't have the other :)

    I hope this helps and I am really sorry to hear that this had happened to you at all.

    Take care,

    Peter x
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    You should tell her what happened. Then she will know she's not alone and maybe she can get help for what happened. I'm sorry this happened to you both, but it's good that you are seeking counseling. I hope things will get better for you soon.
  5. Rose24

    Rose24 Chat & Forum Buddy

    its always nice to feel like your not alone, so maybe she'll be glad if you tell her, but a the same time talking about things can bring up a lot of surpressed emotions, so tread carefully. this is somthing that happened to me and i ended up feeling very down after i was reminded of somthing that happend to me by a friend who had been through the same thing. prehaps in the long run it'll help both of you move on, coming to terms with things is never easy. If you do bring it up, gauge her reaction first before you continue. good luck x
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