She Broke Me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by daredhead, Dec 11, 2008.

  1. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    My best friend in the whole world, the girl I've been friends with since first grade, the girl who was more like a sister than a friend, is gone. She is still here, but the girl I grew up with is gone.

    She has a birth defect called Chiari Malformation Syndrome. It has to do with the brain, I really don't feel like explaining it. She also has epilepsy, and with these illnesses, she experiences horrible headaches.

    She hasn't been to school regularly in three years. She has had like seven brain surgeries, and she almost died. Somehow, I feel responsible for this. I feel that I shouldn't have any other friends. The friends I do have make her jealous.

    I had dinner with her tonight, and I had a horrible realization. She has become addicted to her pain meds. She has so many problems that she is just transferring that negative energy to me.

    I don't think I can see her anymore, because every time I do, it's like being knocked down over and over again. How do I do this? We've always been there for each other, now I feel as though I'm abandoning her.

    I think she's slowly making me want to die, not to live. I can't let her do this.
  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Why not speak to her about this, i'm sure you both could come to an understanding and move on from this together.
  3. daredhead

    daredhead Well-Known Member

    She's not somebody you can do that to. Any little thing that upsets her can cause her to have a seizure, so I literally can show NO emotion around her. One of the biggest problems I face is, I am really good friends with her older cousin, so I can't just shun her.
  4. Milton

    Milton Well-Known Member

    Not that it's as simple as this, but of course those aren't rational responses. You didn't cause this to happen to her.

    I think there comes a point where you have to be able to distance yourself. If this friendship is making you feel suicidal, perhaps you need to step back for yourself. Perhaps you could talk to the older cousin, if you feel her family's support is lacking (or could be stepped up, allowing you to draw back a little).

    Really a horrible situation you've landed in, though. Sorry to hear about it.