My best friend in the whole world, the girl I've been friends with since first grade, the girl who was more like a sister than a friend, is gone. She is still here, but the girl I grew up with is gone. She has a birth defect called Chiari Malformation Syndrome. It has to do with the brain, I really don't feel like explaining it. She also has epilepsy, and with these illnesses, she experiences horrible headaches. She hasn't been to school regularly in three years. She has had like seven brain surgeries, and she almost died. Somehow, I feel responsible for this. I feel that I shouldn't have any other friends. The friends I do have make her jealous. I had dinner with her tonight, and I had a horrible realization. She has become addicted to her pain meds. She has so many problems that she is just transferring that negative energy to me. I don't think I can see her anymore, because every time I do, it's like being knocked down over and over again. How do I do this? We've always been there for each other, now I feel as though I'm abandoning her. I think she's slowly making me want to die, not to live. I can't let her do this.