She doesn't even notice me. They do.

[Greenforest]

And how could she? At least not with a friendly look. I'm a creep.
Beside her I feel like some rotting abscess.
She's so beautiful. And the way she moves, her personality is beautiful. She's calm and peaceful. Something I would love.

She doesn't see me, just looks through me.

But evil persons do, of course they do. They see me, they see nothing else than me for that short moment. Total strangers to each other, never going to see after that, but still they despise me for that short moment. They laugh.

Maybe that's what I'm for? Not to be loved, but to be someone everyone else can laugh at, have their fun. A creep, a clown who has no fun himself.

I feel stupid, waste.

 

[Robin]

I noticved your signature upon reading your post, are you a dreamer too? Have your dreams been wrecked by the shell you wear or do you feel encumbered by the weight of your own personality? People judge us harshly sometimes but most of all it is we who judge ourselves harsher still, while it's true that this girl holds no love for you it does not mean that the whole world will feel the same. There's over 2 billion women in the world each with their own likes and dislikes I saw someone post in this forum a few days ago (sorry, can't remember the post or I would quot it) and I think it's true that so long as we get out there and spend our energy in finding the one instead of dreaming who could be the one the sooner we will find a companion who completes us.

 

[Greenforest]

I know lying in home dreaming isn't going to change anything, but I'm losing my hope for life. It just feels that no matter where I go, there's no girl who would have even small (positive) interest for me. Have never been.

 

[Robin]

You're right, dreaming won't help solve your problems but by our nature it helps to dream, I guess with all things moderation is the key, unfortunately we don't always place it under the matt where it's easy to find.

I know how hard it is to get out there, sometimes it's easier to give up hope than to fight for something we may never achieve, but if you give up the fight you forfeit your hope by default, it's best to fight for the things you want and if you get hurt along the way not to feel distraught by it but take a few steps back to a safe place before you venture out again.