She doesnt trust me... Y?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Twitch-J, Sep 20, 2008.

  1. Twitch-J

    Twitch-J Guest

    Here is the problem.

    My fiancee has the biggest problem trusting me. I just cant understand why.
    It makes my life nearly unbearable. I'll try and explain the best i can.

    basically she has zero trust in me. not because she thinks i will cheat on her or have i in the past. She just doesn't trust me. plain and simple. We have been together for about two years. At first everything was fine between us. It started when i moved. I moved to another town. About 1:30 away. I noticed a change at that point. She started to keep tabs on me. she had to know what i was doing at all times. and if for some reason i wasn't doing anything. just "chilling" i had to call her or she would get mad at me.

    Large leap in time it has gotten really bad. i really cant talk to another girl with out "getting in trouble". And when i say talking i mean stuff like..

    How are you
    How was you weekend
    Did you study for the test

    so on and yeah..... its small talk. basically she says to me why do i care if they studied. why do i have to say hi to them. then she will interigate me and ask if like that person. and if i think they are pretty. how i know them and so forth. its so stupid.

    i have to tell her where i am at all times and if at anytime i have the chance i need to either call or text her. i've been in so many argument because apperently while i was at work i didnt send her enough text messages or didnt call her during my lunch break.

    She even gets mad at my friends. If im on the phone with her and my friends say something that she doesnt like she expects me to cuss them out on the spot.i have been talking to her about this but she is just so stubburn and unwilling to change.

    everyday i get interigated. its pretty hard. i've gotten advice from my sister.. apprentally i should just lie when she asks if i talked to any girls during the day. but i really dont see why i need to lie about something so simple.
  2. blue542

    blue542 Staff Alumni

    I don't see why you should subject yourself to being interrogated everyday. You may love her but this act will get tiresome and emotionally taxing pretty quick. I've been there. If you truly haven't done anything to make her suspect, you need to confront her about it and let her know that this is hurting your relationship. If you don't, you'll really begin to resent her, you'll be driven mad, and other girls will begin to look more appealing. She may think that she's keeping the relationship under control when she's actually driving you away from her. Who is she to hinder you socially?
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Personally you guys need a break or she needs to learn to trust you and realize that you love her. you have to love her if you've tolerated that crap for that long. I get trust issues as I've had them, but to tell you who you can talk to or what you friends can and cannot say is a bit much. You're freedom seems limited with her. Granted you love her but you can't have a life outside of that. What kind of relationship are you going ot have if you want it to work out in the future? You will grow to resent or hate her. She needs to back off or you need to let her know it's either back off or break time.
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    hey hun

    i dont really want to reply on the main forum but i have the same issues as you gf and i am JSUT learning to deal with them. can i just say that i doubt its anything to do with you and is more than likely all in HER head.

    pm me if you want to talk anymore
  5. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    Sam is right , lots of ppl feel this way especially if they are low or lacking in self worth or have other issues.Be gentle with her but explain that it is getting to u , maybe she needs to look and see if there are reasons causing this , how has she been treated in the past etc ?
    Hope it works out