She found out

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by see, Aug 14, 2007.

  1. see

    see Well-Known Member

    My partner found out that I am posting in sf and talking on the net and she reacted exactly the way I expected, hence the reason I did not tell her. She freaked out I tried to explain but she does not listen she thinks I am having an affair of some shorts. She has no idea who I really am and she never will. She is trying to stop me from coming online, but this morning she had to go to town she locked the office but I got in trough a window. Online is my lifeline and I can’t lose it right now because I might lose myself. Its so ironic I am trapped but I am not I cant do what I feel like doing cant say what I really feel, cant leave because then I end up on the streets and then there is no point in fighting.
    But then again who cares and what’s the point anyway I can’t change who I am and if I cant change it will never be ok…………
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    What's the point in being with someone who doesnt even know you? and has to lock you out of a room so you cant use the internet?

    Doesnt sound like a good relationship to me...!
  3. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    I'm sorry see :hug: I know what you mean about online is a lifeline because people here and online do know what you are going through and can help she doesn't see that or anything. I hope you can still keep on coming for support and if there anything i can do to help my pm box is always open :hug: hang in there.
  4. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Try not to think she will never understand you. She is probably hurt because she found out that you have this whole other life that you could never tell her about. That would frankly scare the shit out of me, if I found out my husband was contemplating suicide and couldn't even tell me. I would be thinking, "What ELSE has he not told me???"

    That is a frightening thought if you love someone.

    So open up to her and talk to her and give her the chance to understand her. You say she doesn't know you and never will, but you have been purposely hiding things from her, so what is she supposed to think?

    Just be honest and hope for the best. Ideally, she will forgive you for keeping secrets and be able to trust you once she feels that you have been completely honest with her.

    Remember, without trust, there can be no love.
  5. see

    see Well-Known Member

    I have tired to be honest to be open to explain but she does not get it.She has never trusted me she kept me from the world for 2 years all I had to do was clean the house wash the clothes cook and take care of her every need not allowed to talk to anybody or go anywhre without her.
    Here answer always the same dont you love any more have you found someone else now you trying to makew excuses. I am aslo in the same situation as you but I go on whats wrong with you why cant you just suck it up.
    Nevermind no one will understand I derserve what I get I am the cause afterall !!!!!!!!!!!
  6. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Then she doesn't deserve your attention or love. Her insecurities are not your fault. If every time you turn around she is accusing you of not loving her or of cheating, then that is intolerable and unfair. If you do not love her, then it is only fair to tell her so that she can move on with her life, and you with yours. You should not be forced to be a prisoner of her insecurities and abuse. You deserve to be trusted and respected, and if she can't do that, then you need to go your seperate ways. :hug: Take care.