She haunts me.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Shezamura, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. Shezamura

    Shezamura Well-Known Member

    She Continuously appears to me in my dreams. At times I just want to send her an email and let her know how I feel... but I can't do that. I told her that she hurt me too much... and that I don't want to be a part of the stupid things she is getting involved in. I hate it. I miss her so much. I can only take but so much. I am so tired of being so bitter, but feeling this way will only make matters worse.

    I really just wish I could sleep forever. I really don't know what life wants from me. I wonder If my number 1 dream will ever come true or If I even deserve to receive it. Life is so short yet at times, it only seems long when something devastates your life... It grows long and thick and takes forever to pass by. But when you are actually enjoying life, It flies by straight to the utter sadness that you are destined to face. What a horrible life style we are all born to.

    I just wish that if I knew even the slightest that something was going to go right... that if it would stay that way... I could be more optimistic. Every time something goes right... A secret disaster containing more discord than happiness is lurking in the shadows to make all my smiles and laughs meaningless. It always happens.

    Maybe I am just such a worthless piece of shit that just can't be happy no matter what is going on. Maybe I just care about her too much. I just can't get her off my mind. When you love some one for 6 years... I guess they would haunt you too. This is the exact reason that I don't want to ever have kids. The disappointment of there actions would kill me. I can't handle it. I can't handle people because they are so undependable.

    We only do what is good for our interests... despite how much we hurt others... This world... Is sickening. I wish it would just end. What a worthless world.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No there are actual people out there that are ones that only think of others
    there is always a light somewhere we just have to work at seeing it sometimes
    life i get it it is dam hard but there are moments where the light does get thru and god those moments are worth being around for. I really appreciate those moments more now because the darkness seems to somehow take over me alot
    but i know that sometime soon i will get that light spot again it will happen Hang on okay hang on for the good moments
  3. The4saken1

    The4saken1 Member

    Just be happy you fell in love with someone. I do not even believe in love because of the fact which you stated so eloquently, humans are so undependable. The creators of love are simply glorified primates who trust their baseless distortion of reality over reality itself. Love to me is simply desire, either desire to be with someone, desire over appearance etc. Hence the reason why undesirable people such as myself do not experience love as attractive people seem to whenever they are with someone long enoug.

    The ironic thing is you cannot take what I say seriously because I am too, a homo-sapien like the rest. I refuse to use the word human as it is an ideal not a species