Hello Iain,
I am so sorry you are in so much pain. No one should ever have to go thru this kind of hurt. The feeling of rejection is a very special kind of pain and takes a LOT of work to deal with. It's really hard isn't it! One person said you have 3 children. I have 4. One time I almost took my life about 6 years ago, and at that point I was not able to even think of them. But later after I came out of that episode, I started understanding how my death like that would have wrecked their lives and put them in therapy forever, because they would have blamed themselves. I was afraid it would start up that kind of road for them...like I was on. When you feel a little more able to think about it, maybe you can let your children be an anchor to this world. They really need you, especially during their parents' breakup. Keep talking to us, please.