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She makes me want to scream shout and hurt.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by FrainBart, Jun 20, 2013.

  1. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    People would say at first glance normal family, caring mother, yeah she helped me out a tight spot financially and I have repaid and returned the favour. Yeah not a lot of peoples parents wold do that. Yeah she let me move back there at 18 while I got on my feet. She didnt know circumstances around it but ah well. I didnt feel up to discussing things.

    So yeah shes been a "rock" so to speak... to lean on. People see all the good things. Dont look beneath the carpet. Yeah she's got her problems. Doesn't everyone...?

    Last time I spoke to her was way back at the beginning of the year. She never bothers ringing, when ever I called it was always about her. She once organised for me and her to go out... that got canceled and my older sister went in my place (I wasnt informed she canceled with me, the date went past and photos went up on facebook, her and my sister) My mum nor dad (step-dad) couldnt be bothered to pick up the phone and ring when gran died, my ex got told by my dad via facebook. Now, this weekend I am meant to be going round theirs.. who did they arrange this with? my ex. Not me. Not bothered even sending a text or even a form of message.

    I am so sick and tired of this, to the point of calling them up and saying I wont be going. I am so hurt and frustrated by it that I am literally looking a way to pick and start a fight or argument. Why do they keep chucking me aside, am i really that pathetic and worthless.

    Whats really pissed me off is... satuday is my ex's birthday, we are going round the day after because he has plans for his birthday. I didnt even get a message or call on my birthday didnt hear from them. They care more for someone who is nbo part of my life anymore.

    Pathetic how I keep going back to be hurt, isn't it? letting them take the piss like this. Letting everyone walk all over me. Not once have they really offered me proper support. Not once helped when I really really needed it. Yet I keep going back and all I can do is cry .
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    :hug: Read all of your post, the words are written by someone who is sick of being hurt over and over again. Maybe now is the time to say enough . You do not need this on top of everything else going on for you.Maybe, just maybe... that if you did actually cancel that they would have more respect in future. :hug:
  3. FrainBart

    FrainBart Staff Alumni

    So, I ended up going. In the car less than 10 minutes and my anger was rising, no hello, nothing. She immediately went into how tough things have been for her. She had to stop off at a shop to pick things up. So, walking around, she doesnt really say 2 words to me, then bumps into one of her old colleagues... they get talking I'm stood there like a spare part, after 10 minutes walk off to grab some bits for myself... go and pay for the bits (musta taken me 15 minutes) and hunt through the store thinking shes moved etc, shes still there talking away... stand there for a further 10 minutes.

    Absolutely frustrated by it. eventually got to theirs. and of course the new dog, I do not like him, I dont know why but I couldnt stand him. We spent a total of 7 hours there and I got spoken to twice.

    I really am just a spare part, only need me when they want to vent... my mum complaining how stress is making her relationship fail... no doubt when they have a blow out she'll expect to come over and stay with us... yeah but when me and ex were struggling verge of splitting that wasn't there for me. it hasnt been there since I split up with ex... so why should I let her. She's going on about her hair falling out and how hard it is for her, so tempted to say welcome to my world.

    I hold my tongue... I held it and at times could have bitten it off to prevent a word from leaving my mouth. The 2 times they really spoken to me.... wasnt about me... it was about esme, how is she doing at this whats she doing now...

    my brother only came and said hi to me at 6pm... 5 hours after getting there...

    Thats how little I matter to any of them.they wouldnt mind me being gone from their lives I serve to purpose to them. Never have never will. they never had respect for me, and no chance in heel of any respect in the future. what is the point.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you are treated like this...you do not deserve it...when my 'family' acted like morons, I always told myself that you cannot chose your family...with much caring