Hi All, I have recently separated from my Fiance. I found out that she had slept with another man, we had been together for 21 months and recently gotten engaged. She had cheated on her previous boyfriend, telling me that it was because he treated her bad, and that she was not happy with him, I dedicated 21 months of my life to making sure that every day I spent with her was the best she ever had. I bought her a holiday for her birthday, I bought flowers for every month anniversary we were together, I made an effort with all of her friends, went to social events, supported in her job, even isolated a certain number of my own friends to show that I wanted her and only her for the rest of my life. I had no previous warning about what was to come, it came out of the blue. In a single month, I lost my fiance, lost my house, lost my job & the dog we both got together unfortunately passed away. I had a past history of self harm and suicide attempts, just as she had previous self harm, she had even once self harmed in worry that I may leave. I just can't cope or even believe that it all meant nothing, to go along normally, have, what I believe a perfectly happy life and then just turn around and sleep with someone else, not even in a drunken state, but in pre-meditated meetings whilst sober, over a period of a week. I am now living on my own in a small house, I have managed to get a new job and you could say I am moving on with my life. But I am really not, one moment I am riding high and happy grateful that I am still here, in the next instance I feel down and what it all to be over with. The night I found out about what she did I tried to take my own life, that same night instead of her finding my lifeless body, she was around with that man. If it was not for a friend who lived in the flat above I don't know what would of happened. She is my waking thought, she is my last thought at night. & all I want to do is to find another relationship A.S.A.P. is this even normal? I think not, its as if Im looking to fill a gap in my life, which even though I recognize, I cannot help it! Any thoughts please?