she's so stupid

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by PiecesMended, Sep 27, 2010.

  1. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    My best friend has a reputation around guys which I've tried to tell her about before. She flirts with every guy she meets because she "can't help it!"
    Well she recently took this a step too far and let's just say it went far beond flirting, and in the middle of a park. She says that he said he wouldnt tell anyone but I know for a fact that he has. I don't know how to make her see that what she's doing isn't just innocent.
    The only guy who's decent who she's ever liked she won't go for. She only dates dickheads. Seriously one of them threatend to beat the shit out of her after HE broke up with HER. She's like a sister to me but she won't listen to me. Should I just leave her to it or keep on trying to get her to stop? I dont know anymore.
  2. Borrowed time*

    Borrowed time* Well-Known Member

    I went through practically the same with my best friend. She has all sorts of medical conditions and used to stay away from home days on end without her medication. Up until she was 16 her parents used to get the police to bring her home, after that her family relied on me to find her and bring her home even though we are the same age.
    I didn't mind she was my first real friend, I could and still do talk to her about anything.
    I got to the stage that I hated seeing her throw herself at men, she deserved better than that. One time I'd traveled to town at about 11 at night on my own to get her and she wouldn't leave. I just got quite angry and thought she doesn't care about herself or my safety so I thought forget this and walked away. We didn't talk for 2 years. She's now happily settled with her boyfriend. She tells me now she was in self destruct mode and didn't care. There was nothing I could do to get her to change her behaviour.
    The point I'm trying to make is you can be there for her but only so much. Explain your concerns and let her make her own decisions.
    Would I do it all over again? He'll yes, I'd walk to the ends of the earth for her but I wouldn't allow myself to get mixed up in her tug of power with her family.
    As a friend all you can do is offer advise if she wants it.
  3. Aphorism

    Aphorism Well-Known Member

    This is a pretty difficult situation. Your best option is just to be there for her, to talk to her if she wants to, and offer your thoughts if she wants them. I have come to learn that when girls are so caught up in boys, their friends end up being secondary.

    That sucks, but they grow out of it, eventually. The most you can really do is be there for her. And follow your gut about what to say.
  4. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the good advice! I'd really hate to lose her as she was the first really good friend I ever made. I don't think i'm really as important to her as she is to me. Of course I'm aware that this could be my low self-esteem talking here.
    Yeah, where boys are concerned I always get second place with any of my friends. They say It's because I've never had a boyfriend but I just don't get lovey dovey relationship stuff. I'll try talking to her just the two of us (there was another friend there last time) and if that doesn't work then I'll just have to be there to pick up the pieces again like every other time. I always speak my mind but often it just upsets people so I'll have to try and plan what to say exactly :S