She's taking the kid...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gjmajour, Jan 2, 2014.

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  1. gjmajour

    gjmajour Member

    Just a terrible start to the new year. Girlfriend of 5 years is going to take our son away from me and she wants to leave. Our son is 14 months old and she wants to leave me because I have a limited income. She doesn't want to be with someone like me. I have a job making a little under 30k a year plus I got school and school loans to pay off. I have done everything I can for her and our son. I have stopped eating breakfast and lunch just so i have some cash for my son in case he may need something. Only eating one meal a day, bleeding and sweating at work, literally draining my life into making things better for her and our son. The sacrifices I have made for her and our son, quit smoking, quit playing video games, quit buying useless things. She has her parents buying everything for our son and still I get shafted like this. I do feel like a bum because I can't afford many things for our son. I do cry at night sometimes because of it. I rarely get 8 hours of sleep, mostly its just a few hours a night. I'm up studying and finishing up homework for my night classes. She has 2 part-time jobs and school. I understand she is busy just as much as I am. I have not asked her to make any sacrifices that she doesn't want to make. I am hurting so badly now. It is enough to just end it now rather than go through the pain of losing them like this. This is not the first time she has done this to me. A few years ago she cheated on me multiple times. Why I stayed with her beats me. I guess I just over looked it. Call me stupid if you would like. I'm used to it. Its quite alright with me. I have already made my peace with God. I am not afraid of death. I am afraid of the pain that this is causing me. The fear of totally losing it and ending myself. Death lurks around for me. I just hope it's not too late for me to change my mind.
  2. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Sounds like what I went through (until quite recently) with my ex (the only difference being that we were married [for 12.5 years!!!!] and my ex wasn't working or even keeping the home, for that matter, but sitting on her butt all day, drinking coffee, reading magazines, and yapping on the phone with her friends all day). She had the nerve to complain to her friends that we were poor, yet I was working two jobs to try keeping us above water. She also had the nerve to complain to her friends about how "hard" her life was because she was "working so hard keeping the home". What a load of drivel!!!! Our home always looked like it was turned upside down, the sink in the bathroom was a "filing cabinet" that always had papers in it, so our kids and I would always have to go to the bathtub (which was also cluttered) to wash our hands. The refrigerator looked like one of those experiments in high school biology and I couldn't get to my bed w/o tripping over 1,001 things. Before you ask, I would have loved to clean up our home, but if I even touched one morsel, my ex would have a fit that you could hear all over our neighborhood (literally).

    My ex also threatened to take off with our kids (even though her own lawyer even advised her against it) and that she would fight to have me see the kids as little as possible (thank goodness I had a good lawyer and have a decent amount of time with my kids).

    So, I can relate to what you are going through and feel for you.

    I don't know where you live (I am guessing the US), but I am pretty sure the father (whether married to the mother or not) has rights when it comes to the kid/s that can't be taken away. Unless a father is heaven forbid abusing his wife/girlfriend and/or the kid/s or the father is a dead beat who refuses to work and support the family, the mother has NO right to unilaterally run away with the kid/s. If she does she better have a pretty darn good reason for doing so (which, in your case she clearly does not).

    Don't give in man. Fight her!!!!

    Don't give up on yourself either. When I came to this forum a half a year ago I was also suicidal, although I couldn't actually go through with it for multiple reasons (if you find my first thread on this forum you will see them listed), but my state of mind was rock bottom.

    Thank goodness I am doing better now, but I do still get lonely and depressed.

    Hang in there and PM me if you want to.
  3. emmagater12

    emmagater12 Member

    You have a son and it's cutting you up that she might take him away from you? Yet you're considering making hun deal with his fathers suicide? No child will ever deal with that and come out ok.
    If she leaves you, you have rights to see him and as long as you can keep things friendly, you should see him as much as you like. Me and my kids' dad split and we do 50/50 split. It works and our kids are happy. Maybe you'd both be happier apart and you could provide for him better on your own? There is always a solution, suicide is not it. Don't make your boy have to live with that
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Right now now you go get yourself legal help and you fight for your kids ok they need you more and if you are giving all the support you can she won't win hun just threats ok You go and get the lawyer now and show your kids that you will fight for them and care for them always
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