Just a terrible start to the new year. Girlfriend of 5 years is going to take our son away from me and she wants to leave. Our son is 14 months old and she wants to leave me because I have a limited income. She doesn't want to be with someone like me. I have a job making a little under 30k a year plus I got school and school loans to pay off. I have done everything I can for her and our son. I have stopped eating breakfast and lunch just so i have some cash for my son in case he may need something. Only eating one meal a day, bleeding and sweating at work, literally draining my life into making things better for her and our son. The sacrifices I have made for her and our son, quit smoking, quit playing video games, quit buying useless things. She has her parents buying everything for our son and still I get shafted like this. I do feel like a bum because I can't afford many things for our son. I do cry at night sometimes because of it. I rarely get 8 hours of sleep, mostly its just a few hours a night. I'm up studying and finishing up homework for my night classes. She has 2 part-time jobs and school. I understand she is busy just as much as I am. I have not asked her to make any sacrifices that she doesn't want to make. I am hurting so badly now. It is enough to just end it now rather than go through the pain of losing them like this. This is not the first time she has done this to me. A few years ago she cheated on me multiple times. Why I stayed with her beats me. I guess I just over looked it. Call me stupid if you would like. I'm used to it. Its quite alright with me. I have already made my peace with God. I am not afraid of death. I am afraid of the pain that this is causing me. The fear of totally losing it and ending myself. Death lurks around for me. I just hope it's not too late for me to change my mind.