shewastheone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shewastheone, Sep 2, 2007.

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  1. shewastheone

    shewastheone New Member

    I'm not like most guys i guess i guess. I dont feel i need to kill my self i just dont have anything to live anymore. I guess some back ground info, Im a vet who has seen everything so I no theres jack shit after you die but getting stiff and then bloat and stinking Ive seen it all kids, woman fucking dirty rags with Ak's and thier guts hanging out. fast forward (im drinking as always so please excuse any imperfectoins in spelling). So here I am 28 I went to UTSA early 16 got my BBA got married and had a kid joined the army cuz every male in my family has done it since the done on time. So I come back first tour and find out he fucked some dude that shes non esince kindergarden I frak out blah blah blah ive never known a woman not to need attentio so we work through it or should i say im so fucking gay that i cant let her go. mom left at like age 7 so i have this hole thing where i dont want me kid to have that shit. fast forward she has an affair for a year get pg with his kid and miscarries wich i take her to the hospital and my insureace takes care of. work throught it cause im <Mod Edit: Offensive>. get out of the service. meet a guy in florida and start a biz work day and night get it going, now im making real money, new bmws for all. my daughter turns 7 and at her b day party i hits me im 27 i cant spend the rest of my life with her whore mom just to seems normal for her she knows i love her always been daddys girls looks like my acts like me ect. i move out few month later i start hanging out with this super hot woman 30 im 27 at first im like yeah shes fun and smoken hot ill fuck her. well guess what the one fucking thing i din want to happen happens she funny, smart, got her shut together, owns her own biz to, preachers daughter and hot i mean blonde bom shell guys. i move in the big d papers are in just a matter of time. my biz starts slacking off so on vacation the ny me and her deciede where going to move uo there . i haveajob offer of 6 figueas and she like the area. get back and we get in a fight. im like fuck this beacause im an asshole and i cant controll my emotions, im in meds the va out me on zoloft. im like fuck it im gone sold my biz that weekend packed my shit and left, my ex followed me cause she knows she fucked up and wantd meback... anyway im sitting here looking at everything we did up here everyday, i dont change my razor cuz she used it kast type shit. she wont talk to me at all and im one tick away for blowing my brains out ive got plenty of weapons to do it and latley ive been playing russina roullte at night drucnk. im not scared to die ive never been most my brother are gone. and i dont beleive in god . i dont know why im even talking abouot this i should just do this. she was the one now what do i have to look forward to? a fucked life? iwanna die so bad
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 2, 2007
  2. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    You wanta talk <Mod Edit: Offensive>, my wife tried to murder me and I stayed with her. Sent her to a $1000 a day treatment center for 2 months which insurance paid nothing on. Funny thing is your life is close to my dream. But I know mine is close to 2.8 billion people living in poverty, so it's all relative I guess. Of all people on here I am most sure things will get better for you.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 2, 2007
  3. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    I meant to say "mine is better than 2.8 billion people living in poverty"
     
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