Shh

[frizziidizzle]

Hi, this is my first post, I wasn't sure at first how to.
My names Lou and I live in UK, for a couple of days now, I have felt like nothing, empty and blank, I don't have any feelings what so ever.. It's like I am on auto pilot.
I have real strong thoughts of ending it all, I know this may bore some of you ebcause you would of heard it all before, but I've decided to change. I am not gonna let anyone into how I feel because there is no point anymore. I think about everything all the time, why we do things. What is out point and I don't think anything but..
I kind of haven't told anyone, but I have been asked to commit to a suicide pact, I kind of said yeah. Don't know when it's gonna happen though. I have;nt spoke to her since last Friday so I don't know if she wants to go ahead still. I told a friend that I cancelled it. If your reading this I'm sorry. I didn't want to say. I know how much you need me but still I feel worthless. I luvvvvvvvsiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss you always, you are my bitch, ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tonie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hmmm hope your not mad at me.
I really feel shit and worthless, I can't continue on with the online counselling, after they found out where they live they also found out I'm not in the area able to access it.
I have started to change, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't lie any more, I swear on my baby sisters grave, I gave up yesterday, I meant it. I do.
:unsure: anyway probably bored..
i cut in the bath the water went red, i felt dizzy but euphoric.
It was awesome, I cut deep though and took a while to stop... I wish it didnt.
Well its 10:06pm, night night all and Take care.
xLoux

 

[~Tosh~]

:hug:

Lou, Im not mad at you, and i just wish you had come to me... i guess.. i failed you and i am sorry... I pray that you will be ok, because you know how much u mean to me and a friend like you is hard to find, especially one who doesnt turn their back on you in their time of need, which all my other so called friends did...

Please, if you do speak to this girl, i am begging you, cancel the pact. i dont care if you get called a coward or anything, but i need you... :blub: The fact you havent spoken to her in over a week may tell you something.... i dont know.. just please, dont do it...

I know you have probably heard all this from me before but, i dont want to loose such a close friend so soon... :hug: Just please remember im only a txt/phonecall/msn/email etc etc away... but for me to help, i need u to come to me hun...

Love ya always

Ya Bitch

XxXxXxX

 

[LenaLunacy]

Please take care of yourself and don't do anything silly. I don't know you but i would be saddened by your death. I hope you are ok :hug:

 

[Stranger1]

Welcome to the forum!! If you are cutting yourself that bad then you need some therapy to learn how to take control of your life again. Definitley don't proceed with this pact you made. Especially with an ex girlfriend. All you are doing is letting her use you again for one last time. Please don't call women your bitch that is prison terminology and doesn't impress anyone. It sounds like you have a good friend in Lexie. I don't know anything about you except you want to die. Just about everyone hear either feels that way or has felt that way. So listen up when they are giving you advice. Yes I have tried and failed also. Now I have control over it because it never goes away from me. My therapist has taught me how to control it. Take it one day at a time and set small goals for yourself. When you accomplish a goal that should be a positive thought and when you start banking those positives it will help your self esteem. Good Luck to you and speak with Lexi because she sounds like she has a positive outlook on life. Take Care!~Joseph~

 

[frizziidizzle]

hi stranger now sure if you will read this.. me and Lexi's 'bitch' thing is a friend thing, i am a girl and no my pact is not with an ex girlfriend as i am not a lesbain..
thanks for your comment.
Lou :wink:

 

[Dave_N]

Hi Lou, please don't go through with the suicide pact. Try to help them understand that death is not the answer. Suicide only leads to other suicides. No one wins in the end. Lexi really cares about you. :hug:

 

[~Tosh~]

i realli do :cry: i lovsies u sooooo much i need u!! ur like ma sis xxxxxxxxxx