I went to my support group last night for people who have lost a child to suicide. One of the guys mentioned there that when people ask how you are going, you can't really say how you are really feeling or you will freak people out. So true. They say to talk about your problems, but you can't talk about suicidal feelings. Even if the person doesn't seem to be shocked on the outside they can be on the inside. I was talking to it to this guy once, and I talk about it like it is no big deal. He would ask have you made any more attempts, I would answer, Oh yeah, he would say does the counsellor know, I would say, yeah some she does some she doesn't as if its no big deal. I suppose to me it isn't but you have to realise that to others it is. I feel like I am living a double life, like cloak and dagger. My husband doesn't have a clue, but I can't tell him or he will freak out. My counsellor did tell him once though and he had no idea. At work they don't know about the stuff I am googling. I was at the Chemist the other night, and lady says, "Can I help you", I felt like saying yeah have you got anything I can end my life with quickly. Anyone else feel like this.