Shit. I messed up.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TWF, Jan 13, 2010.

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  1. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I fucked up my paper. I really, really fucked up this time social-anxiety-style. It's not like I didn't try, I knew the stuff, had all the oppertunities, I studied my ass off, did well on the practice tests. I started off well, attacking the paper like it was lunch, but my balls couldn't take the 12 mark question, and I started writing shit and crossing it out repeatedly until I ran out of time. With this fuckup I've not only let everyobdy down, I've messed up my future, I've wasted my chances.

    So since this exam went bad I don't really see any more reason to live, I think I'll probably commit suicide, maybe not soon but definetely before I get the results which is in just under 3 months, plenty of time to device a plan. I'll most likely become one of those 'exam suicide' statistics you see in the news.

    This is not a plea for help, this is a statement. I fucked it all up so I will kill myself.
  2. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    :hug: i messed up my exam paper too, thought i knew my stuff, and from thw word go, struggled for the next hour and a half, wait around for ur result it might not be as bad as you think, keep posting!
  3. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    No, it will be. I'm aiming for a top grade, anything less or medium I won't settle for, I don't want to live to see the results. This meant so much to me. I'll probably just jump off a building because I can't handle it, the fail is too much.

    Thanks for the words, but I just made this statement so I can look back on it 3 months from now and see if anythings changed, which I highly doubt.
  4. cownes

    cownes Well-Known Member

    cant you re take it?
  5. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I don't want to. I don't want anyone to see the results, expecially myself.

    The embarressment is too much, I don't care anyway, I'm killing myself. I don't think anything could stop me entirely, I've always believed I'll commit suicide regardless of anything else, this was just a little thing I had. And I'm not scared of death, I actually know I'll do it, now I have the drive.. I'm too much of a pessimist.
  6. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Sorry for changing my mind, it was just 1 bad paper, today's exam went very smoothly so I'm feeling slightly better now, but that's only natural... still messed up on the other.
  7. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    Are you in high school? What subject was the exam in? Please be specific.

    You know long-run, you are going to have problems in the future. Were you distressed WHILE you were taking the test? Emotions are least conducive to learning, they interfere very much. So try to realize that while you are taking the test and to skip questions or problems you struggle with then go back to them at the end without getting upset. Then when you get out, then you can evaluate it emotionally.

    Sounds stupid, but it will improve your grade. No matter how much you study if your not calm while you take the test it will be more difficult to concentrate. Physical activity calms me, try exercising on the day of the exams?
  8. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I'm studying A-levels, sixth form. Government Politics, Economics, Mathematics.

    Yes, I panicked and messed up in my Eco exam, severely. And looking back, I could have done that question... I won't get high marks, examiner will know I panicked, I crossed out too many sentences....

    Maybe I sound like a drama queen perfectionist but if I if my result sucks I don't think I can live with myself, failing brings alot more than experience in my case.

    But, you're right, I should have stayed calm, but I didn't.
  9. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    okay you didnt do great, but learn from it. You know what went wrong so maybe next time this happens you can figure out something to snap you out of your anxiety? Life is about learning, we are not perfect, although we try so hard....but if we didnt make any mistakes we wouldnt get the opportunity to get better

    :hug: it will all work out and you'll think back and wonder why you were so worried :laugh:
  10. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    Yes, hopefully. Sometimes you just can't afford to make mistakes though, this is one of those moments. I might resit if it isn't too bad.......
  11. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    lol I just took an economics course last semester, and I did the same thing. I panicked.
    It wasn't until the third test that I started thinking calmly. I just keep telling myself that getting worked up will only make my grade worse.

    In fact I went through the test, had half of the answers that I skipped over blank. Re-thought them through, and I did this with like 50% of the tests. I ended up getting an A. And I was also the last person sitting in the room, and there were only 3 A's in the entire class out of 35-40 students. That would make me a little anxious, if I saw everyone else writting quickly and flipping through the exam, especially when people started to leave and I was not near finished.

    Emotions (like anxiety) and learning are not compatible. Its almost like they decrease your IQ temporarily. The trick is to seperate how you feel, and how you think. Don't feel when you take a test, just think, calmly.

    It took me lots of practice. Like I said exercise, works best for me. Also abviously just over-preparing for the exam... And green tea also helps. (not coffee because it makes me kinda anxious)
  12. PokerDonkey

    PokerDonkey Active Member

    Eh...if there is an option to retake it then you're overreacting hard :S

    if you do bad, w/e retake it and move on.
  13. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    As you get older, you'll realize life is much more than an exam. Don't kill yourself over this. It's not worth it.
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