So the doc called yesterday. He wants me in this afternoon. I know what he is going to say. I know the results are going to confirm what he believed some weeks ago. What do i do? I don't have the energy to pretend anymore. But if I don't react somehow, he will get suspicious and probably figure out what I have planned. How can I fake that I'm upset, worried, scared? I'm not. I'm not anything anymore. He's going to let me know all my options and I really don't care. Why can't the shit just leave me alone already? Haven't I paid enough? I just want to die in peace.