shit *very triggering*

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by wonderer, Jan 5, 2008.

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  1. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    I was going to try and kill myself today, but I'm a wuss and couldn't bring myself to actually do anything to myself. I was there, I was ready, and I couldn't do anything.

    I was pinning all my hopes on getting into the hospital and having that help. Its not going to. I probably won't get in, and even if I do, there's nothing anyone can do to help me.

    I'm never going to be able to change. I hurt people whether I want to or not. I'm a bad person, that just the way I am. I hate myself for that, but thats just the way it is. Given that... its my duty to either isolate myself forever or kill myself. Its my duty to make sure I don't hurt people. And I suck at isolating myself (as shown by the fact that I'm here bothering you guys).

    And now I don't even know if I have the guts to kill myself. I'm suck a fucking sissy... I'm a worthless abusive bitch... The sooner I can get out of here the better. There's not even much point in trying any more - the only thing left to "try" for is to try to die in a place where the people I know won't be the ones to find me.
    Sorry to bother you guys.
  2. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Im like you, i hurt everyone even though i try not too. Its like nothing i do takes away a anger i have.... its like i have 2 people inside me... when im angry im just watching myself.

    But i know oneday when i get better it will go, i ODed 2 days ago, its not worth it... im in so much pain!! You have no idea!

    Take care,
  3. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Hun, please hang on. The fact that you didn't do it tells me there is a part of you that wants to hang on and get through this :hug:

    You are not a "worthless abusive bitch" , like I said before you are an amazing person.

    Please keep trying to hang on, hang on until Monday to see if you can get any help, Monday might be the start of something good

    Take care hun, and you can always PM me if YOU ever need to talk :hug: :wink:
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi wonderer. I think I remember seing you in the chatroom. You're not a 'fucking sissy.' You're just really not ready to kill yourself, which is a good thing. Why do you feel that no one wants you here? I'm sure you have many good qualities. Please stick around and talk and don't do anything drastic.
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