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Shld it be the end now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by hopeless13, Sep 9, 2011.

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  1. hopeless13

    hopeless13 Well-Known Member

    just got home from hospital on a 2 week leave of absence
    they are not even sure I am ready
    so we are taking a chance
    sent me home with 5 weeks of pills - all types
    wwe don't even know if they are going to work til the end of sept
    allergic to them, sent my blood pressure through the roof
    so we are dealing with it, new pills but i have no way of
    checking my blood pressure! so hope these meds work
    i don't know, come home, overwelming
    sat down and cried
    i really don't know if i can do this
    maybe it is time to throw in the towel
    maybe it is time to give up
    my neighbours are camping, so there is no one to check on me
    they have the keys to my house, no one else.
    as i look through the house i don't know if I can do this
    so much and its my own stupid fault
    why couldn't i be strong, no - i got to go and fall apart
    i have wasted my life..............
    i look at my pills, they sent me home with 7 different pills
    quite the combination
    i know what they would do
    i still hve on my bracelet suicide awareness someone cares for me
    then why does it feel like i have been thrown into a shark bowl
    and about to be swallowed up. :(
  2. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Is there anything you could do to get your mind off the depression tonight? Maybe soak in a warm bath for a little bit and relax. Put a movie in and watch it, or get in bed with a good book to read. Try to distract your mind from feeling so down. If all else fails, take something to help you sleep, and just get some rest.

    If you don't feel capable of being home alone, maybe you should go back to the hospital and tell them how you feel.

    Whatever they have done for you, doesn't seem to be very helpful. What are all the medications that they put you on? It is kind of ridiculous to send a patient home that is feeling suicidal with 7 different medications in their possession.

    Trust me, mixing pills, taking too many, it doesn't work. I have taken some major overdoses, and a very dangerous medication, I am still here..

    Don't make yourself feel any worse by doing that sweetie. It's not going to do anything but make you sick, and more depressed.
  3. Savsta

    Savsta Active Member

    i hear your pain , i hope you can get adjusted and it works out for you , if you ever want to just reach out , dont hesitate to come on here, we will all support you as much as we can :hug:
  4. hopeless13

    hopeless13 Well-Known Member

    i am absolutely silly to think i am can do this, its just not possiblle
    its tooo far gone, too late now, waay to laatte.
    1 set of sleeping pills done nothing, that was 2 hours ago
    gonna go with the next set now, maybe get some pills to work here
    tired, overwhelmed and have just had it.
  5. hopeless13

    hopeless13 Well-Known Member

    Re: SHOULD IT BE THE END NOW. - i tried...

    i really really treid i jusst can''t seem to suicced aat
    aatny anythinngg.
  6. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Oh my gosh sweetie, have you overdosed on sleeping pills? Or was you just trying to take a couple to get some sleep? You have me a bit worried.

    Your not going to get better if your doing things like this. If you have overdosed, I hope you will call 911 once you wake up, if you can't find the courage yourself, please email me your contact information, and I will call for you.

    I'm so sorry it's so bad. I really wish there was something I could do right now. :(
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