Shock (much different than LaLullaby's)

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Lost Disciple, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    After death, what's a normal amount of time to shrug off the shock?? What's the average??

    Is it normal to go... I don't even know how long now, a month, and not feel anything at all? Not even the slightest twinge you push down? I mean, sure, he died a sudden and unexpected death (uncle... crushed by a giant log... see other thread), but is this normal?

    So how about you guys? How long did it take for you to overcome shock? What's a good, average amount of time for it to take?
  2. philio

    philio Well-Known Member

    ... i think its really different from person to person...

    ...the shock hit me instantly after my mam died...

    ...but my brothers took a week...

    ...and my did didnt seem to have been affected at all (i know he was though)...

    ...i think its just too hard to sort of put a time frame on it...
  3. AlwaysRain

    AlwaysRain Active Member

    I agree with philio, it differs from person to person and depends on who died.
    If you never realize it, don't worry too much, it's OK.
    When my friend died I didn't cry on the funeral, it happened a few days later, right in the middle class I was teaching. I'm pretty slow
  4. Lady E

    Lady E Well-Known Member

    Sometimes the shock never wears off from when someone dies unexpectedly, sometimes it wears off after a few weeks, and you accept it. Like everyone else said there is no "normal" recovery time for being shocked by someone's death.
    Personally there are times when I'm busy or just daydreaming and I think I should call this person (who is dead) and it'll give me this shocking feeling "oh they've died" and then It won't go away for awhile.
    I'm very sorry about your Uncle's passing.
  5. Straight away for my nans death, a few days for my great nans death, and straight away for a friend of mine commiting suicide.

    varies for person to person.
  6. imheretohelp

    imheretohelp Member

    when my granny died it took me nearly a week to cry and fully realise the death. the only other time i cryed before that was when i saw my dead granny lying in her death bed. me and family members kept a 24hr watch (old traditon from west of ireland) for the 3 days until the funeral but i didnt cry once during this time, we just talked about the good times with her and didnt cry in front of my mom or sister
    fuck still thinking about it makes me want to cry but life dos improve
  7. Cybrsk8r

    Cybrsk8r Well-Known Member

    When Mom died, the shock alsted a few weeks. Then I was pretty good for a couple of months. Then an extreme saddness set in which landed me here. I tihnk it's gonna be a long time ...
  8. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    I am still in shock over lost loved ones.

    i really do not think anyone ever really gets over anyone. their memorys will always be with us. as long as we can keep their memory we can keep them. at least it is for me.

    i am really been missing my mom lately and it is bringing me down. i do not think i will ever get over losing her. i never really got to say good-bye and that is what hurts the most and whats keeping me upset and down a lot lately but of course other things are also but missing my mom and not really having a family that loves me or cares is what hurts the most
  9. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    You never get over it entirely (although it gets MUCH better), but the shock probably won't last too long. I think shock is your mind's way of protecting you temporarily from the emotional impact, until you can get your head around what happened.
  10. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    shock will take differing times for everybody and i think it depends on if those around you are sharing what they are feeling to. We can all so easily go into ourselves and then its hard to climb out. My best friend dropped dead at the age of 42 3 yrs ago leaving 3 children her husband was away and i went to the hospital to meet up with the kids and there she was dead we had only been out the night before having a glass of wine and moaning about teenagers as mothers do sometime and now here in front of me less than 12 hours later she was stone cold dead. Shock was not the word but it was suppressed becouse the kids needed a lot of support they had found their mother dead in the garden. In Feb of this year again here today and gone tomorrow i saw my other friend - soul mate- infact that evening left and received a call at 1.30am to say she had died in a fire that night, police the next day said she had been drinking and dropped a cig, thry found he in the bath - shock that has not shown itself yet.
    If you feel u r not showing any emotions please talk to somebody i didnt at first and that a part oif whats landed me her hun it will never leave you completely and you will never stop grieving for your loss but get some support pm anytime
  11. RRRED

    RRRED Guest

    Depends how you define shock. Sounds more like denial to me. Do you find yourself wondering maybe that it was a mistake and he's wandering around with amnesia somewhere? I think it can depend whether you witnessed the viewing too. I found that once I SAW my son for two days in a coffin, I was really able to let go, cry, and accept that it was HIM in there and he was GONE.

    Personally, I was hit with immediate shock and the ability to be all spiritual and loving and soak up the love and be optimistic for like 2 weeks. We had found my 16 year old dead in our home from a hanging which was so horrific and shocking, my brain totally protected itself for a couple weeks before it hit me. The next stage I went through was total psychotic rage and had many fist fights with the pavement bruising the crap out of myself.

    Anyway, I think of shock as like a haze of feeling like it's not really reality. Come to think of it I felt like I was looking at myself from the outside and thinking "Oh that poor woman". Maybe that was shock. That lasted till just a week ago or so for me.