Short moment of hope then CRASH!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aussiegal, Apr 4, 2012.

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  1. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    Had a short glimpse of hope today where I felt really happy. Lasted about an hour. Best I have felt in weeks. Have no idea what triggered it. Heaps of energy, felt like running and screaming or doing something real crazy and out there to show everyone how good I felt. Then CRASH!! Back to reality and the usual feeling terrible. Just want to die. Spent the morning considering why i shouldnt drive myself off the road.

    Tell me how on earth it is possible to go from suicidal to crazy happy to suicidal again in the space of one day. I CAN NOT do this anymore. I am a mental case! Please world just let me die. Let me have peace!
  2. Symptom of bipolar.. Have you seen a psy doctor yet? Try get out of the house and start running and you will feel better.. :hug:
  3. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    I dont know if its bipolar or more just the start of my new meds kicking in?? I have seen a psychiatrist last year when I was in hospital but got an appointment to see him again next week. See my psychologist every week and have done for three years now. Running is def. on the agenda for tomorrow. I havent slept much for three nights. Hoping to get some sleep tonight as i am in a down moment again. Might be easier!
  4. Have a good sleep and try running first thing in the morning tomorrow.. Hope you feel better.. :hug:
  5. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    It defitinitely sounds like it could be a symptom of bipolar. Whether its a reaction to medicine or not depends how long the medicines you are taking take to work within your system. What medications are you taking?
  6. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    I have just come off cymbalta and started pristiq. I have been on it for a week now.
  7. AsphyxiateOnWords

    AsphyxiateOnWords If you're 555, then I'm 666.

    Both cymbalta and pristiq are antidepressants, which means that they take anywhere from 4-8 weeks to work. So it's unlikely that your medications have caused the way you've been feeling. I would go back and ask your doctor to re-evaluate you for bipolar then.
  8. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    Fantastic news! My cousin has Bipolar1.

    On a serious note I do have an appointment to see the psychiatrist next week. I am really wishing they would just lock me up. I feel like I am going to explode from trying to control my emotions. If someone upsets me today I am going to have a real problem controlling it and not upturning tables around me. Probably not a good role model for the children I teach. I am on holidays after today so just trying hard to get through the day without upsetting the people around me. I would really like to have friends left by the end of the school term!

    My mum has had a melt down over worrying about me. She took off around the streets crying yesterday. My sister wants me to go and talk to her. But u know what... I just can't. I can't worry about her. It seems so selfish but if I do that I am going to have nothing left to keep myself sane (or at least semi sane).

    Had another night with little sleep. Thats three now where i have only managed a total of about an hour or so. So i am going to have loads of patience today I can just tell.

    Like I said... right now, locking me up seems the easiest option. Although I know if that happens my mum will lose it and my boyfriend will leave. Life sucks. Signing out. Hope for their sake I get to work in one piece, although if it were up to me....... Who knows!
  9. Ldub20

    Ldub20 Well-Known Member

    Pristiq helps, but for me it takes more than medication to make the suicide thoughts go away. It may work for you though.
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