Short Poem and I call this one "Across the Room"

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by AlexElm, Feb 1, 2011.

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  1. AlexElm

    AlexElm Well-Known Member

    Let me start off by saying, read this with the first and last paragraph and then without them. Should I keep them?

    She looked at me across the room,
    And I looked back, across the room.

    Her eyes were green flecked with gold,
    And her lips, well they were a sight to behold.

    Her lips were painted a ruby red,
    her hair as soft as a comfy bed.

    Her angelic face lifted up in a flash
    Until she saw me walk right past.

    She looked at me across the room
    But I didn't look back, across the room.

    My first sad one D=
    I wish there was a delayer because I don't want to post it now but I know if I don't post it now, i'll forget. So this one i'm slightly proud of because it's my first sad poem EVER and I would really like to know what you thought of it.
    Thanks for reading!
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs an encounter very nice
  3. Mayim12

    Mayim12 New Member

    I really like it! The meter was confusing, but still wonderful.
  4. AlexElm

    AlexElm Well-Known Member

    True... It made perfect sense when I wrote it... Thanks for that!
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