I have suffered with depression for over 10 years now. Things have been going better lately though. Last weekend I met a girl who I had chatted with for a while online in RL and it was like the best time I have had in a long long time because she was in a relationship and I could totally be myself. I don't doubt that the great person she is has caused me to have a big crush on her, but I should still be happy. She is with a nice guy and is so happy herself. Yet instead I have plummetted way down further then I have in a long long time. I thought I was stronger then this, but sometimes I cannot stop crying. I have not done anything bad because I figure it will get easier but it just seems to get harder. She is at least 1000 miles away so I will be lucky if I get to spend time with her again ever, but I just cannot get her out of my mind. I have not had a crush for a long long time on anyone, but I thought I would be stronger then this. Why do some of the best times make me feel the worst?