I was recently all set to end my life but I answered a phone call from soemone who talked me out of it. They begged me to come back and hear their plans for how things would all "get better". Their plans involved me running off to California or some other distantplace to start all over. Well intentioned but completely ridiculus. Now I am here after messing up the carefully thought out plan I had started. I had a hotel room in a distant city. A full CO2 tank and enough sleeping pills to keep me asleep until the gas overcame me. I even had handcuffs to secure myself to the railin in the shower to make sure I couldn't back out. I really don't know why I'm posting here. I found this site while researching methods. I found out that myplan with the CO2 would have caused that suffocating feeling that one gets without oxygen. CO is a better choice because it bonds with the cells and doesn't cause that gasping effect. Now I am trying to figure out how to get a charcoal grill into a hotel bathroom without setting off the smoke detector. I'm thinking about disabling it by cutting the wires that power it or else a plastic bag taped securely over it should work. This time I'm leaving my cell phone here and just doing it. No notes. Nothing. I plan on tomorrow or at the latest the day after. I am limitted with time because the law will be coming very shortly. I have some DWI's that are going to destroy my life for a very long time. I find it really sad that a DWI, without an accident or injury to another, could warrant such an extreme response from the state. Screw them. This is my final exit. I'm completely sick of hurting those around me and always screwing up everything that shows promise. I know most of these things I bitch about are from my own actions and that is why I am done. I have no chance to dream of anything better. NOthing will ever change. Pain and misery are my destiny.