Should I ask this guy out - So many worries :(

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by yous, Jun 6, 2012.

  1. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Question: Should I ask this guy out?

    The problems are:
    1) he lives rather far from me 50 miles +, same state, probably 2 hour + drive among us
    Though this may or may not seem like a big deal to all, but it can if I ask him out? I mean how will we see each other often? Or should I even worry about that now??

    2) I may not be his type. He's one of those adrenaline junkies and I'm more of a mature woman who also likes adventures, but he's like a surfer dude(to give an idea).

    3) Age - we are a lot a a part (I won't say how much, but think Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher) - yes I'm the older woman. (These guys are my age ranger I prefer - please no criticism on this and stay focused on replying to my situation.)

    4) He may not remember me. I met him briefly last week and it was just for an event. I saw him and liked him, but I was one of many of his adventures he had to share with.
    I tried emailing the adventures thing I did, and they gave me his contact, but he won't remember me unless there was some sort of photo but wouldn't it seem weird to send a photo of me.

    5) I may not be able to show my face again, if I ever someday want to go back to the event. He may (or may not) remember me.

    Anyway, I just wanted to briefly said hi, and tell him what a wonderful time I had shared with him, not expecting much, but should I even bother? I don't want to get hurt or ruin a wonderful experience I shared with him.

    Should I just let this go? Does anyone out there believe in taking a chance or is it best to just dream away wishing it happened and move on?

    Think about the strangers you meet in life that you wish you knew. Would it be strange for you if an email came out of nowhere or you least expect and someone asked you out? Would you find that strange or flattering? How much would you remember someone if they described a certain incident that may trigger a memory?

    Please it would be nice if guys answers this. I'd appreciate it and if all answers answered.

    Need your help!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 6, 2012
  2. sadguy33

    sadguy33 Banned Member

    I don't know if I should be giving advise because I suck with girls but if I was in the other guys shoes I would want you to go for it. So I say go for it.
  3. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Does he even know your name? If so, he may remember that. If not then I'd wonder if it was even worth it to go into introducing yourself and all of that because you obviously weren't memorable at that point.

    It's cordial to send an e-mail letting him know that you had a good time and remembered that you had his e-mail address (Hey, you probably don't remember me, but we met at [the event] and talked about [whatever], and I just found your e-mail address. I had a great time there and I'm just wondering if you know when is the next [event]?" Ask when is the next event (this is casual and shows your interest in the event - NOT him - and it's important that you refrain from expressing interest in HIM). Do NOT say "I like you" "I had fun with you" or anything even implying an affection combined with the word "you". It's not about him; it's about the event and he is a contact for it. This opens the door for him to contact you back; at that point, if he expresses that he had a good time with you or wants to talk further with you, then you know that he remembers you and now have an open line of communication to detect interest. This way you can preserve the acquaintance without the future awkwardness and anxiety of being embarrassed of him knowing you "like" him if he turns out not attracted to you. But if you leave it at considering him a contact for a common interest, the worst that can happen is he a) won't respond; b) won't remember you. Not so bad.

    Otherwise, this is so far apart, it's hard to avoid saying that there's nothing there and to let it go. He didn't even bother to get a way to get in touch with you.

    But, everything happens for a reason, and good things can come up where we least expect them, so it's up to you. Think about whether this brief infatuation and dream of a brief acquaintance is something realistic for you or just makes you look like a desperate old woman to him.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2012
  4. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    Thanks Prinnctopher's Belt, your advice was definitely taken. I guess I have to be realistic with our situation and proceed with caution on this. I have so much against me on this of it "working" as any possible relationship or even friendship. I guess I just had hopes that anything was possible for me and could work - that's was the dreaming part. But I have to be realistic so thank you. I emailed him a casual email saying hi, we will see if anything comes out of it if at all. :mellow:
  5. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    Just do it and even if it doesn't work out be glad that you did it.
    Don't think about it!
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I agree with the advice given by Prinnctopher's Belt; I hope you hear back from him!!
  7. yous

    yous Well-Known Member

    It's been one week with no reply. The email I sent him was very casual, perhaps too much that left him no need to respond. But I did ask him why he didn't have facebook. Anyway, how long should I wait, if at all, before I send him another reply to try at least one more time, or should I? This 2nd email I had planned to just say if he's ever down where I'm at that if he wanted to chill and we can talk more about the event....But by now should I not even bother? It's been about 2 weeks + since I met him.