Should I be embarrased?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by HomerSimpson, Jul 16, 2008.

  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    At least three years ago it was agreeded that if I live with my grandmother and take care of her my mother would help me go back to college and get my degree. You cannot understand how depressing it is to take care of someone old and each and everyday see them die more and more. So my life for the last three years has been school and taking care of her. People ask me where do you work, and all I say is I go to school and they say man you are 34 and all you do is go to school you have got in made. It makes me feel so worthless and embarrased. Should I be? Should I be embarrased over the situation I am in? How should I handle it?
  2. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    honestly i don't think you should be embarrassed at all. you've taken time out of your life to help family. i personally think that is cool. i would totally love to be able to take care of my mom and dad right now, but i simply can't. it's awesome you have the opportunity to do it. someone makes a comment to you again like that i'd just tell them to get a grip you're helping family right now and that's most important. just my personal opinion. take care
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You have no reason to be embarrassed about going to school at 34 and taking care of your grandmother. In a way you do have a job. You are a home health care giver. There are people that do that as a profession. Be proud of what you are doing. Not only are you bettering yourself, but you are making life easier for someone you love. No shame in that. :hug:
  4. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    I have always felt embarrased and meaningless when people ask me what I do.
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Maybe you should take a different view of it. A home health care nurse would be doing the same things you are. Is nursing a shameful position? or hospice? Both are respected positions. What are you studying in school?
  6. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    Will soon be getting my degree in Computer Networking, and afterwards may continue to go after a teaching degree. I understand and see your point in what you are saying, but I also look at it this way. Like I said I never tell people I have to do this, so I know people look at me as a loser, a slacker, and a nobody and that is what is so demoralizing. I dont know its just hard to explain.
  7. Hey Homer!!

    Do not assign to yourself such short shrift!! As Gentle Lady already said, the job your are doing (and it damned well IS one!!) is notable, compassionate, and relevant – and given that we might live that long – we will ALL need it sometime! Your “pay” happens to consist of a practical compromise (though initially it occurred to me that it might have also been a bit of blackmail on your family’s part as well – tho this was just a thought of mine – and NOT a judgement! Indeed, strange things happen when 'duty calls' - and/or is designated by someone weilding some 'power').

    However… so long as YOU see it as ‘compromise’ (and there is never anything wrong with that – including mutual respect and acknowledgement), there is nothing wrong with accepting what you are able to do at this time. NOT to mention that you are NOT in the least stagnating in any way, shape, or form – but are working towards a wonderful goal!! Bless you for that – we don’t all find the power… :smile:

    If you feel a title would benefit you/ease your ‘nutshell’ of a self-descriptive name – call yourself a P.S.W. (Personal Support Worker – and use the “PSW” FIRST – so that the OTHER person will feel like the dummy, and have to ask! LOL!! :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:). I myself have listed my “occupation” as “A Caregiver” – Cuz, yeah – I been there and done that. No one knows it’s true and full worth. Unless they’ve needed it – or were the ones to give it. (This whole society’s rather up-fucked when it comes to assigning folks into right and proper “round peg” designations – screw ‘em!!!! :dry:)

    BTW m’dear…I do realize the challenges of your job. Instead of watching someone “blossom and grow” – as in caring for a young child (which is seen as "noble"), you are watching someone go into their own inevitable ‘demise’ – however, they DO as well become “childlike” – and hopefully this experience will give you the full gamut of the Human Condition as opposed to diminishing it. So long as you are well with yourself and keep peace in moments (and even take out time for yourself – when necessary – and it IS necessary), you will have a benefit that few others can conceive of.

    (BTW – a wonderful book I encountered – and there are few indeed I would recommend, let alone ‘foist’ on anyone – is “THE CAREGIVER’S COMPANION” – by Betty Clare Moffatt – compassionate as it is sensible, AND empowering. Hopefully available in your local library)