Should I be feeling so sad over girls?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by trance01, Nov 28, 2006.

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  1. trance01

    trance01 Member

    I have been feeling extremely depressed for years now and I can't seem to break out of it. It's all because I am lonely and want a gf. I'm 22 now and still have never had one. I've never even dated anyone... I've told a few people including a psychologist how I felt and everyone questions why I'm so sad because of it. Should I even be so depressed just because I don't have a gf? I don't know how to explain it, but that's how I feel and now I am becoming numb to everything in the world. I am sick of life and can't find any reason to be alive anymore.

    I can never wake up in the morning because I have no reason to get up. I usually sleep until 3 or 4pm most days. My drug use has recently gone way up too.
  2. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    It's definitly not an unusual thing for this to get you down. An enormity of depression comes from all sorts of relationship and love problems. It's one of our most sensitive areas. What kind of hobbies do you like? What kind of music do you like?
    I'm asking this because when you talk to girls (unless your as scared as i am with them) you'll want something to talk to them about. I hope some girls back me up on this :) but girls like people who can make them laugh. Don't be afraid to give a little joke here and there. Everyone always told me i should calm down and relax if i want to talk to girls but if you find something your both interested in, that can relax you when your talking. Also (if you dont already) learn to ask questions about them and find out about them, its the foundation of building a relationship. If you really want to find a girlfriend, don't go out looking for one. Just go and talk to people you like the look of and get to know them. Love just happens
  3. trance01

    trance01 Member

    I really can't make girls laugh....I'm just a dull, boring person.

    I have a very hard time starting conversation with random people. I need a reason to talk to someone or something in common already. Sometimes I do try to talk to girls at clubs and bars and it just never goes well and I feel like complete shit afterwards.

    I feel like I've been trying everything and nothing works. People tell me not to try, so I stop trying and still nothing.... I feel like I'm wasting the best years of my life.
  4. painsource

    painsource Well-Known Member

    Learn to play guitar or bass(easier) or something.Then go on and get yourself in a band.Youll get a girlfriend garanteed.
  5. babycheeses

    babycheeses Active Member

    I know what you mean. I've had girlfriends before but I've always been gay and never had a boyfriend.
    Now I'm 23 and it's been 8 years of singledom. The relationships i've had before have been fleeting and nothing has come of them.

    Loneliness can be painful but I often find friends help aid that. Ok, so I don't get intimate with my friends (it has its limits) but there's still a sense that I'm connecting just by talking.

    On top of that you then have to walk around in a world where almost everyone seems to be in a relationship. At work my manager keeps telling me I need a girlfriend (he don't know I'm gay). But even so, if I was straight or if he said I need a bf I don't think that's warranted. I asked why and he had nothing...
    Relationships can be important but there's no ideal situation.
  6. afton

    afton Member

    Are you not studying/working atm?
  7. left behind

    left behind Guest

    im completely the same , im only 18 but i still feel like like no femaile will ever want me. it is completely soal destroying
  8. Old_Man_Kensey

    Old_Man_Kensey Well-Known Member

    i m 20 had a girlfriend some months ago but she dumped me bcoz i was behaving weird and stuff....I didn t know how i was supposes to act inside a relationship and i made a fool of myself....Before that i never had any luck with girls...After that i haven t tried to talk to a girl i like...I take for granted that i ll blow it....Of course i never been laid...And i got a friend who s like me and he suggested we have sex with prestitutes...And although this is pathetic, it might be a way to get rid of a great deal of stress when it comes to girls......Anyway, i m totally sure that i m not gonna have a much better luck with girls, and the girls i m gonna date won t be that pretty either, although i m not such a bad looking guy...Anyway it sux
  9. Don`t look for a relationship, you`ll end up putting females on a pedestal and depression is a certainty. Hit on as many women as possible as often as possible. You may feel like shit for past experiences not going well, but the fact youve approached those women in the first place makes you a winner as very many men on this planet don`t have the balls to even get that far.
    Rejection is your FRIEND. The more often you are rejected, the more likely you are to be successful on your next approach. Remember, no woman on the planet is worth your unhappiness, they are LUCKY to be with YOU, not the other way round. Forget about status, looks + money, be confident and show women you are a SEXUAL BEING, it is your biological imperative to have intercourse with as many women as possible. Be proactive and don`t punish yourself for f***ing up, reward yourself for making an effort. The worse thing you can possibly do is absolutely nothing. Forget notions of `romance` and `dating`, you`ll end up supplicating to the female race and they won`t respect you for it. Don`t be scared of touching women while you are talking to them (waist, shoulder), it shows them you are a physical being and aggressive (in a good way) in your pursuit of finding a mate (females find that attractive).
    If you are stuck in the art of conversation, talk about what makes the girl/woman feel good. She will associate good feelings with being with you. If you are confident and relaxed around women it is worth more than your job, bank account, looks etc all put together. Don`t let your past define your future, dreadful past experineces have no bearing on what happens here and now.
    Take solace in the fact that no matter how dull and boring you think you are, there are a very many ugly, dull, illiterate losers in worse positions than yourself that pull hot girls every day of the week.
  10. Son Of Dr.Nick

    Son Of Dr.Nick New Member

    That was an uplifting read, i could do with taking some of that on board myself. I definitely agree with the last sentence, you got a smile from me.
  11. TheBLA

    TheBLA Well-Known Member

    Uh okay, who are they and how do they do that?
  12. immure

    immure Account Closed

    ah that is real sweet. i think its fine to feel so passionately. let that passion fuel u well. if this is what u know u want prepare. if u imagine a magical night with a red suite. buy the suite and waite. what i mean to say is. love is seeking u help it find u. i have a wedding dress in a bag. already to elope. and some other things. and continue to look how i can ready myself for my antisipated moments. so i can fill them with the part of me that brought me there. if any of this makes any sence.

    from a girl
    waiting for the kinda
    i can
  13. painsource

    painsource Well-Known Member

  14. Genesis 356

    Genesis 356 New Member

    No. You should really not be depressed about this. First of all, you need to appreciate the things you DO have, and not be unhappy because of what you haven't. Secondly, why not wake up early and go walking or something instead of taking drugs? Drugs are probably the reason for your depression. Go and watch the sunrise or something instead.

    Concentrate on what you do have and set yourself goals for the future so you have something to aim at.

  15. trance01

    trance01 Member

    Right now I am in school, but I never do any work. I do the least amount of work it takes to get by. I'm a senior majoring in marketing and I now realize that I really do not want to work in corporate America....So I'm slightly lost, but I think a lot of people are at this point.

    I really like Innocent soul's post. It is uplifting, but I've heard this speech many times. Problem is that I simply can not carry any kind of conversation with girls. Most girls think I'm cute and I do sometimes get approached my girls first at bars. I still can not think of anything to talk about. The only type of girl I've ever gotten close to is the kind who talks incessantly because then there aren't awkward silences in our conversation.

    I have been thinking about learning guitar over winter break. I've always hated those asshole guys who pick up girls by playing guitar. I really don't want to become one of them. But I should find a hobby other than sitting on my computer 8 hours a day. Most of this time is spent listening to music and downloading even more music, which is why I've been thinking of getting a guitar.

    I really hope I can fix this problem soon before it scars my whole life. High school sucked. I always looked forward to college and while it has been great, I will still look back on it as a depressing period just like high school was.

    I want to know what it's like to kiss someone I actually like and not some stupid drunk girl. Even just holding hands would be nice. Fuck, just thinking of this makes me sooo depressed
  16. Hi, I'm in the same boat as you guys. I'm 24 and I've never been in a relationship. Tomorrow, I'm going out with work colleagues and I'm going to try really hard to talk to women. Not necessarily to hit on them (I hate that phrase) but just to talk to them and get my confidence up. Wish me luck - I'll let you know how it goes. Afterall, what's the worse that could happen?

    [1] I could make a fool of myself.
    [2] I could get laughed at.
    [3] I might be ignored.

    I'm used to being laughed at, ridiculed and ignored so I don't think I could lose anything at this stage. If you can, you guys should go out tomorrow and try to talk to some members of the opposite sex. Just try it. Knowing that there are other people out there doing the same will give me confidence.
  17. Trust me..Theres someone out there for EVERYONE. You just havent found her yet.. Keep looking..She could be right under your nose..the girl that you always pass on the street or in the coffee shop. The girl youve known forever. The waitress at the restaurant. I know Im only 15 but I'm not stupid. Keep looking. Shes out there I promise.
  18. Are you speaking from experience? :blink:
  19. Yesh..
    I am.
    I help alot of people through love crisis' and I'm not half bad.
    Anytime people need love help..
    Come here..
    Message me..
    Do something..
    Im always here to help
  20. Curtis_Rock

    Curtis_Rock New Member

    hi, im 19 and your situation is something like mine with the difference, that i tried this bandstory..
    a few years ago, i was 16 or sth. my best friend and me was thinking on the same thing and so we started to make a band. at first he bought a egitarre and then i bought one and we started training. the first stupid thing we did was, that we both wanted to play guitarre, alright if you play lead and rythm guitar you need two, but if you want to found a band, its better with three guys, a guitarrist, a bassit and a drummer. thats enough and much more easier ;)
    so we convinced a other friend to start playing bass and another for drums.
    thats not easy because instruments kosts a lot of money, guitar and amplifier minimum 600 euros, bass, drums same...
    so we complete a garage of my best friend as trying room.
    on a drinking event i got to know a girl and i felt in love, the first and last time until now. i tried to know her better and few weekends later i introduced her to my bandguys, because i bragged with the band and so on. this was the biggest mistake in my live, now i know better but its to late.
    at first we were all good friends and we made party every weekend, we were 10 people or sth 50/50 :) it was great fun =P
    then, she came together with my best friend, just a short time, but it was not very lucky for me, in skiholyday the bassist told her that he felt in love to her, but she didnt car :) ,after a very liquid silvester party she came together with a other friend who was not in the band. few month later they canceld it, but i hadnt much contact to them, in the summer i met her again and we made lots of free time activitys and so on and from one day the other she was together with our drummer, after he didnt talk to her for 10 month because he had a gf. i left the band because this things tryed to destroy your friendships, but it was to late. this girl is special and i will never forget her..
    i found a new band in my school, blackmetal guys, some strange, but i didnt care taked it with humor and had lot of fun, but this band broke after a few month when the vocal guy and the keyboard girl disconnected. for over a year i train fullcontact, three times the week, its good for my healthyness and i like fighting ;) otherwise i would not sociolize with other people, and drugs makes lonesome, if youre deppressed..
    i dont know how to get a gf, i only had one.., but maybe some sports you like could be good for your ghost and body *g*
    best regards, curtis
    edit: sorry for bad english
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 29, 2006
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