I'm 22 years old and feel like my life is going nowhere.I have a heart condition and feel tired all the time.I dropped out of high school and passed up opportunities that I regret.It's hard for me to talk to people,because I feel socially awkward. I haven't had a girl friend,though there have been women who showed interest in me;I feel so much nervous anxiety around many females.I think it's because as a child a woman at my preschool touched me in my privates even though I tried to stop her.Also my mother tried to make me touch her when I was about 10 or 11. I don't know my father anymore,he stopped coming to see me when I was around 8.I was raised by my grandparents basically.They always gave love and cared for me, but now I'm in a position where I don't have them around.My Grandfather (who really meant a lot to me)recently died.My Grandmother now lives a bit far.I live with an Uncle that I can't stand to see.He's hooked on meth and alcohol and has mood swings.My mother is also an alcoholic and always has been,she used drugs when she was pregnant with me,So I hate seeing her too. I have so much frustration about the way my life is going and the way it's been going.I feel alone.The cards I was dealt suck.I use to be more positive.Not so much anymore.It scares me that I now think sometimes "If I just ended it,there would be no more pain for me". I don't know what to do.I feel like shit.