I need to ask you guys this. This is a question I'd like to ask mainly other Christian posters but anyone who wants to answer and give ideas, I'm all ears to. I hope you don't think I'm a jerk but I need to know if this is something I need to repent of. During baptisms at my church today, this guy gave a real powerful testimony about how for years he was doing drugs and fighting in school and drinking before God helped him realize what he was doing was wrong and he found Jesus. He was actually considering suicide before he felt God calling him to turn his life around. It was really great to hear his testimont and I'm glad he is saved and was cheering for him like everyone else. Praise God! At the same time as I listened to his testimony part of me can't help wondering how much teachers went home depressed or fell into drinking themselves or self-harmed themselves or attempted suicide or succeeded or had to go on stress leave or quit teaching altogether before guys like him decided to stop being idiots and hurting everyone else around them. I'm glad he made the right decisions but I couldn't push the question out of my head about how many people like me were messed up in the process. I hope that a lot of the kids I teach with will turn their lives around but I don't know if it would be easy to forgive some of them. Yet if I would like God to forgive me for the stuff I struggle with I also need to be forgiving. The guy who spoke didn't do anything to me and I have nothing against him personally and I praise God for having turned his life around, but because of people like him I'd cut myself with a knife and go home and want to cry and felt I wanted to end my life. I shouldn't have let these thoughts even appear especially during the baptism but they did and I almost felt some bitterness. I feel like a jerk for thinking these things on a day like that and if it's a sin I hope God can forgive me. Should I be asking forgiveness for this?