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Should I break up with him or wait?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by idk y, Mar 3, 2010.

  1. idk y

    idk y New Member

    I met this guy a year ago. At that point we didn't really have any feelings for each other in August we were hanging out at a concert and realized we both liked each other. Anyway, I had to wait for January to start dating becaus eof my mom's rule. So we have been seeing each other everysunday from august to january at church. We haven't gone on a first date yet but we have been trying to plan one. however, my friend asked me saturday if I loved him. I couldn't answer truthfully. I mean, yes I cared for him, but I didn't really have any feelings for him. i don't want to break up because it would crush him, but I don't think it's right to be in a relationship where you don't have the same feelings for a person that they have for you. What should I do? Should I break up with him or should I continue to be his girlfriend so as to not hurt his feelings or break him? I'm afraid if i break up he will commit suicide....he and his family have bad mental issues.....depression being one of them....
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 3, 2010
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    It is crueler to lead him on.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Tell him right now all you can be is friends only someone to hang out with but not anything else Having a close friend is important and hopefully he understands this.
  4. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    You haven't had a first date and you only meet at church....how exactly are you dating and what is there to break up? Sounds like you church friends to me, keep it that way.
  5. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I don't understand this either, if you just see eachother at church and keep planning to go on a date but haven't yet, then I can't really say that it seems that much like there is anything to break up or that you have even given eachother a proper chance to begin feeling things for eachother. Personally, I'd say I'm not suprised you don't have feelings for this person and if he has feelings for you then I'd be a little confused. It doesn't seem to me like you're dating, but rather that you are planning to date eachother. Not everyone who dates someone else neccesarily starts out with having feelings for them; sometimes it takes time and effort in a relationship before you even start feeling anything. Unless there's a specific reason for you to not want to continue "dating" this guy, then just see where it goes and what happens. If you do, then tell him straight. It's something only really you can decide.
  6. Tray

    Tray Well-Known Member

    yea your best bet is to just tell him how you feel. that you are interested in him (or not) but you dont have such strong feelings towards him at this point.