I've been experiencing suicidal ideation almost everyday. I haven't talked to my girlfriend about it, and I don't know if I will. We've only been together for a couple of months, and I self-harmed for the first time in over a year by noticeably burning my arm. After she noticed, I waited a few days before explaining to her my history of self-harm and multiple suicide attempts, but told her that I wasn't contemplating suicide now. Of course, this isn't true at all, and now that I lied about it, I feel like I can't tell her. I love my girlfriend; she inspires me. She is a survivor of stage 3a melanoma, a fully recovered cocaine addict, survivor of an abusive marriage, and a single mother of a beautiful 3-year-old boy. She is studying now to take her GED so that she can go to school and train to become a nurse. I want to do everything I can to help her, but I have recently lost my job and we were evicted from our home. I try endlessly to reduce the stress in her life by helping her take care of her son, driving him to his dad's everyday, cooking and cleaning for her, running errands for her when she's not feeling well or can't leave because she needs to watch her son, but no matter how hard I try, my help is not enough. My truck (the only vehicle that we have) is rapidly deteriorating, my unemployment is not enough to pay rent anywhere, and I can hardly afford food. Thankfully, one of her friends is letting us stay in her condo for free until we can get on our feet. Everything that makes her stressed makes me feel more depressed because I've been trying so hard. I feel like everything that is a stressor for her is a failure of mine. I'm glad that her friend is helping us, but it makes me feel like I was unable to provide and that I'm unstable because the only thing keeping a roof over my head is her desire to stay with me. I've never felt like I deserve the relationship that we have, and I've told her many times that she should break up with me (that I can't do it because I love her). Because of how I feel, I don't feel comfortable showing her affection, telling her that I love her, or initiating sex. For the first time, we haven't kissed in days, had sex in weeks, or said I love you in more than a month. I want these things badly, but I feel too depressed to initiate these things or even to talk about it. With our relationship looking like this, and with her not talking to me about it either, I feel like I'm a chauffeur, cook, maid, and errand-boy to her (even though I don't really want anything but to be able to do these things for her). I also don't want to tell her about my suicidal ideation because I know it will only make her life more stressful. Now, I wonder if I should break up with her. I can't talk to her, I can't help her, and I want to admonish myself of the responsibilities of our relationship so that I don't have those inhibitions from completing my suicide. I always have my materials and my plan to commit suicide, but I have decided not to complete it in the past in favor of taking her to the doctor or taking her son to his dad's. I don't know what to do; I'm afraid that I'll never be able to facilitate the relationship that I want to have, that I can't help her with her life and her son's life, and that I may never get to a point in my life when I don't constantly think about killing myself. I want this to be over, but I want to hurt my girlfriend as little as possible. Should I break up with her?