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should i break up? ='[

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by The Scream, Mar 15, 2010.

  1. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    maybe it's important to tell, idk, it's a gay relationship im in, a girl, with another girl..

    we're together for just over 2 months right now...

    we met each other online on a gay networking site... we went to some same concerts together cause our music taste is similar...

    and after like 4 or 5 dates she invited me over to her place... we we're watching a movie and then she suddenly started making out with me and it turned to sex later the same day...

    after that we had a lot of sex and we spent a lot of time with each other

    but yeah, she's kinda racist along with most (if not all) of her friends... and im not a dutch national so yeah i feel offended at times, she says sorry but she repeats it so often it doesn't even feel like she really is sorry

    and whenever her friends are over im being ignored

    i don't know, this relationship hurts me

    but she did introduce me to her whole family, even her grandmother and grandfather

    and i don't know
    i would feel kinda fucked up to meet her whole family and then be the one who breaks up

    then there's this other girl
    she's cute
    and sweet
    and she told me she thinks im cute and sweet too
    and she asked me whether or not i had a girlfriend and i told her the truth and said yes
    and lately she's kinda less flirting xD lol i don't know why maybe cause i have a girlfriend but im not sure

    i don't know what to do ='[
    i like the other girl but im afraid i'll dump my girlfriend and then she doesn't want anything with me

    ahhh, relationships are hard ='[

    what would you do?
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think its important to take the other girl out of the equation and look at you and your girlfriend. To me it sounds like she hurts you and its not healthy for you, but yet you are staying with her out of maybe guilt? Or obligation? Because you've met her family?

    I personally don't think those are the right reasons to be in a relationship.

    When you have worked out what you want with your girlfriend then you can start to assess the situation with the other girl and work out what's going on a bit more. It may be you are 'safe' because you are off limits, so if you became available things may change.
  3. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    thanks for your reply Scum...

    i actually do wanna break up with her...

    i've never really been in love with her... everything just happend so fast and i don't like that... she even told me we were in a relationship 3 weeks after -she- had decided we'd be in a relationship...

    ahh, i don't know how to break up =/
    i wait for her to do it, and i had no hurries...
    but since i met this other girl i can't wait till it's over

    blegh, i sound so cruel -__-"
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I think you need to just be honest with her. If you stay with her that's not fair on her and its not fair on you. Just be nice, do it to her face, and be honest.
  5. flyingdutchmen

    flyingdutchmen Well-Known Member

    im also dutch but if i find out my partner is a racist i am gone right away. thats enough reason for me

    are you so in desperate need of having a girlfriend that you would stay with her even though she does things that you dont support because you are 'NOT SURE' you can have the other one :huh:

    sorry but this doesnt sound like a receipt for a healthy relationship to me
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2010
  6. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    i guess i really am desperate xD lol

    it's just that she's the only thing i've got right now...
    and it's hard letting go the only thing you do have...
    even tho she's not the one im happy with


    i should break up xD

    thanks for your reply btw =]
  7. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    If you stay with her, then you will lose more than you already have because you will lose more self confidence, more self esteem, more self worth.

    Maybe when you break up you could look to pick up some hobbies or maybe volunteering or something, so you're making a whole effort to start a whole new life and gain more things into your life and make positive changes, so that something negative actually becomes a positive.
  8. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I just wanted to suggest that after you break up, you be on your own for a bit...
    It's okay to not be in a relationship with someone at all times, and if you are- it may make you really depressed if you're ever alone in the future?

    -- that's just the same advice I would give any of my friends
    But you should do whatever will make you happy. If you aren't happy in the relationship you're in now- then it's best to leave. The sooner the better!
    The longer you let things sit and stew-- the worse things will be; and the harder and worse a pending breakup will be when it happens. You know?

    I just wanted to ask- because I've been the other girl on a few occasions- do you know that she's interested in a same sex relationship?
    I'm straight myself-- but I guess I give off the vibe of being bisexual, so I have been asked out by a few girls and had to turn them down.
    Her actions; depending on how they went down in person-- could've given you the wrong impression... somehow.
    I'm just warning you because it sucks to be on either side of an awkward situation like that...

    Either way, I think that you should break it off with your current girlfriend. I think you deserve better, and you will do much better without her. (no offense to her... ><)