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Should I contact her?

#1
Hi guys,
I met a patient at a psych ward a few months ago, and we spent most of out time together during outside breaks. Before we got discharged, we exchanged our contact info. I admit the reason why I hung out with her was because she approached me first and I just kept talking with her due to politeness. She was and still is very nice; she cares about other patients too. Now we are discharged and she has been texting me, and I replied to her too until a few weeks ago, because I didn't really want to talk to anyone but my boyfriend. I guess that was because I was lazy. I am so weird and passive, I don't really talk with people but I hope they can be there for me when I need them. I am selfish.
I am currently out of town, and I told her that I would bring her some souvenirs when I get back. I think I have to see her no matter what. But having a new friend is like a burden, although I know I need to expand my "friend group".
What should I do? Should I contact her?
 

JulieDegraw

Well-Known Member
#2
If it feels like a burden to have a new friend right now i don't think you should feel obligated to keep in touch in that way but you could tell her that you'll keep her contact info for later on when you are ready to form a friendship. No shame in that and no shame in being honest about that. Maybe you'll never contact her again and you don't have to if you won't feel like it. You're not bad for that reason :)
 

Aprilflowers7

Well-Known Member
#3
You don't have to talk to her if you don't want to. Usually I think I'm supposed to have friends, but if I think they might be rude or treat me with disrespect, then I won't talk to them, so that's what I usually do.
 

Petal

SF dreamer
Staff member
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#4
No - if this friendship seems like a burden to you, I would cut off all contact, try not let yourself get pressurised into doing this. You don't have to. Look after number 1 = you :) Best wishes x
 

Walker

Everything Zen
Staff member
ADMIN
SF Social Media
SF Supporter
#5
You don't have to have friends but they do contribute to your life overall. If she feels like "too much" then you don't have to keep carrying on the relationship. And not to be a jerk but finding friends in the psych ward is probably a burden too. She wasn't there because she's gonna be light and cheery. She's there for a reason, just like you were. Even if it's explained like "I was having a hard time" or whatever then she's still a little off like the rest of us. You're not under duress to talk to anyone you're not that into -- but also blocking yourself off from people is harder on your depressive symptoms. :)
 

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