Should i date a girl im not attracted to?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Summer.Rain, Mar 14, 2009.

  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    I had a date today, with a girl that dosnt attract me at all
    im like completley natural in my feelings toward her
    Yet i had a very long date, about 8 hours date (lol)
    and during this date we talked a lot about many diffrent things
    and well, even though there is nothing spacial about her life
    there is one thing that i did liked about her, and that is her personality
    she is shy yet shows confidance, we had talks when i just could see
    how hard she tries to impress me, and i liked it.
    I also noticed that she is very... amm.. like accepting..
    for example if i say something, she always agree with me
    and while i think its a weakness, somehow i feel like i want to try a girl like that.
    Overall, to some of you who know me, you know i am sexist
    and while i feel like this girl is weak and simple, somehow the fact that
    i have it all under controll enhance my interest in her.

    In the end, it was really easy to impress her, and by the time she took
    a bus back home, she came to me and kissed me, which was somewhat lame..
    but what can i say, if she think im attractive then so be it.

    But the real problem starts with physical attraction
    while i know i am a very intersting guy and more then a few girls found
    interest in me, i just cant imagine having sex with her... (like EW!)
    and i know that if ill keep dating her it will probbly end up with sex
    and it wont be me the one who will start it...
    And eventualy it will end up it tears... because i wont be able to perform
    and she will be offended because girls are always blame themselfs in such cases..
    I had such "issue" before, and the girl start crying and asked me
    why dont i want her, telling me that she knows she is ugly and blah blah..

    Anyways im really confused
    I want to date her, i like her, but she dosnt physicly attract me
    which will result in her beein offended

    Tips, Ideas, everything, is most welcome...

    I just reread what i wrote, it all sounds like i have no respect to her
    this is not the case! and it have nothing to do with respect...
  2. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    If there's no physical attraction there then it's better to be honest with her.

    Perhaps you could just be friends instead?
  3. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member right by her she sounds like a nice girl.
  4. danz

    danz Well-Known Member

    Not trying to be rude but personality wont get your soldier hard!
  5. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I agree with Claire. Why not just be friends?
  6. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Yeah i guess to build relations without physical attraction is a really
    lame thing to do, and a mistake...
    Overall sex is a very important part of any relations
    and without it... well.. :dry: :laugh:
  7. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    Well for one, you don't have to become a boyfriend to every girl that you date or get along well. You can always be friends.
  8. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    ...don't waste your time, OR hers.

    if you are physically repulsed by this girl (you commented "EW") then why bother?

    keep her as a friend.
    you can never have too many friends. xx
  9. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Well, my answer would be a clear no. You say the thought of having sex with her repulses you, why do you need to ask us if you should date her or not? It sounds like you're asking yourself and looking at yourself- realising you like her under your control and you liked the attention she was giving you.

    As for being friends, ask yourself, what do you want out of this friendship? To have a girl, you see as 'weak and simple' make you feel good and agree with everything you say?
  10. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Well thanks for all the "help"
    I guess some of you assumed that im unexpereanced or something...
    well its not the case... yes i know i can have her as a simple freand

    and to the guy who quote me about saying that she was weak and whatever
    as i said, i am sexist, therfore i see girls in amm... nevermind, dont want to offend anyone...
    Anyways its not like i dont respect them or something
    actualy i prefare to have girls as freands more then to have guys as freands..

    And now you asked "why do i wounder about her if she is not within my taste"
    well, for as long as i know myself, i always ignored the sex part in dating
    or relations, only because i dont like sex much... (its complicated)
    and i always was more intersted in the person himself
    but for the past year, i feel like something changed in me
    I think it have something to do with my brain development...
    My boddy developes very slowly, im 24 and i bearley shave my face...
    i also noticed the emotional development is also slow
    so maybe its just a result, sort of click in my head, and now im more into sex
    which is new to me, and it results in lots of confusion...
  11. endlessskies58

    endlessskies58 Well-Known Member

    hello :)

    i guess my question is: you aren't attracted to her at all? the fact you wrote this makes me think you are interested in her in some sense...

    what is it that makes you unattracted to her?

    is it her looks? your depression? i haven't been attracted to even handsome men who show interest in me because of my depression...

    or perhaps that she is an easy catch? is it that you are subconsciously more attracted to a challenge? i know i'm that way as a woman... if a guy shows too much interest i won't be interested in him anymore...

    i know for me that i wasn't attracted to my first boyfriend at all... but after going out with him i fell in love hardcore and became very attracted to him... and we ended up being together for 3 years...

    but i will say too that if you are only going to upset her, hurt her, or break her heart then you need to let her find someone who will appreciate her.

    think this over, because if you really don't think you'll be any good for her then maybe you should just be friends.

  12. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Hey, as i said im attracted to her only because she is not bitchy like
    many other girls i used to know, she is shy, accapting, dont talk much...
    Now i find this case unusual because most of the time i dont like easy pray
    buy yeah, she is an easy pray for me, which is sucks...
    But i dont know... when i think about the feauture... i want to have a wife
    that is easy to handle... without too much "i want" and so on...

    But it dosnt matter any more, im not attracted to her physicly
    (i dont like the way she looks) which means there will be no sex
    and without sex, there are no relations...
  13. BlueWind

    BlueWind Well-Known Member