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Should i do it?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Shepard93, Jun 11, 2011.

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  1. Shepard93

    Shepard93 New Member

    I am 17 years old and my life is a complete mess... First of all i'm living with my mother, my stepfather and my half sister. My father is living in London barely putting things together, and i saw him last time 5 years ago. My mother hates my guts, she never talks to me, never said any words of encouragement or anything like that to me. Basically she told me that i'm a lowlife, a parasite without any future, because i have terrible grades in high school and i'm about to fail this grade. so i have no chance of going to college. She also said that when i turn 18 i'm out of this house. My mother and stepfather have their own baby now and i'm unwanted in this house. I'm fat, ugly never had a girlfriend, never had true friends, i'm socially retarded, which might have something to do with me having hyperhidrosis, which means i sweat a lot. I was also recently arrested alongside my cousin because we pushed a supermarket cart, which was broken and left next to a dumpster, on the street. I live in the biggest shithole of a country called Serbia, where people with college education are often unemployed, let alone possible high school dropouts with criminal records. I'm seriously thinking about committing suicide, because i have no future, and life makes no sense. I don't believe in god or life after death, so that is not an obstacle. I just want to end it.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...no wonder you are not doing well with a mother who treats you as she does...many people finish high school, take courses to prove they can succeed in college and go on to college afterwards...I hope you can leave when you are 18 so that you have a chance to live your life..I think you are very brave and bright to be doing as well as you are...and yes, life is a matter of perspective...you feel you are not doing anything well and I say you are doing well...I think you forget to include in your evaluation all the abuse and neglect you have had to live with...please continue to post and let us know what is going on...big hugs, J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i agree with Sadeyes the best thing for you is to move away from your abusive family. Start life of your own okay. There are many people as said that do not have high school education that have gone back and taken adult courses later and went on to college You are still very young lots of time to prove to yourself that you are worthy of the fight okay You are someone special and noone should treat you otherwise. Please hang on okay talk here we are listening and we care hugs to yo u
  4. Shepard93

    Shepard93 New Member

    Thank you for your words of support, both of you. I would love to be able to move away and start my own life, but my country is the problem. My dad finished a great highschool, went to law school after that and when he was just about to finish it, war broke out here on the balkans. We were living in a basement, fearing for our lives every day. Eventually we were forced to move away from Croatia to Serbia, and dad never finished college. That made it almost impossible for him to get a job and live here so he had to move to England. I love my dad and i would love for him to be here with me, but i don't want him to live in misery, without a job and at my grandparents' house. Point is my country has one of the biggest unemployment rates in the world and i just don't see how i could have a future, even with your kind words i still feel like a big failure.
  5. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Jesus thats awful and heres me complaining
    Would you ever think of going to england to your dad
    You can.do plc course after school and on that enter college.
    Tbh you dont need to study to have s career.i spent three years in art college and couldnt get a job.i trained in another job.
  6. Shepard93

    Shepard93 New Member

    My dad is barely surviving in England. He has over 10000$ debt here in Serbia and is barely able to send 500$ every 2 or 3 months. So that is not an option.
  7. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Well I dont know can you move somewhere
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