Let me make this concise: I was born with a disease that will kill me before I'm 22. I did not find out until I was eight. Since I was four, my dream was to join and die in the military. Obviously, this is an impossibility now. My older sister was a genius; her tutoring gave me what modest intelligence I have now. She died when I was seven. The loss of my sister, and the lack of all other family members (including my father) has driven my mother insane. She has schizophrenia, and she routinely beats me. Right after losing my sister, I was in foster care for four months, where I was molested on a daily basis by one of my "foster siblings." This has made me entirely averse to any form of friendship. I was chaotic for four years directly after, only recovering my behavior by reading the Bible, which led to a love of philosophy, now my chief interest life. I convinced myself that I might as well try to go to a good college. Although I attained a perfect superscore on the SAT, I had a low GPA throughout high school because of a lack of home work (I avoided going home to avoid my mother), so I was rejected from all colleges except one I cannot afford. I don't pity myself at all, and I never feel sad, despite the increasing severity of my disease and my mother's behavior. I always follow the famous quote of the Philippians, paraphrased as "Whatever is righteous, pure, etc., think of such things." But I've come to the realization that there is literally nothing good in my life at all. So, objectively speaking, should I end my life?